


Gorgeous Nightmare

by Herbeloved82



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-23
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-19 08:51:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herbeloved82/pseuds/Herbeloved82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Azazel is ready to do everything to free Janos, his lover, from Sebastian's unwanted attention, even giving their leader his deepst secrets and inner hell for his perverted pleasure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is going to deal with past child abuse. 
> 
> Every mistake is my own. Everything good in the grammar of this story is because of my great Beta Stormkpr.

PROLOGUE

Azazel was cuddling the glass in front of him. Only vodka, no ice, no lemon because he wanted the liquor to burn his throat, making him forget everything else. 

 

The club was closed for the night, and even if someone was still present nameless members of the staff, cleaning the floor and putting away glasses and bottles the demon-like mutant was left alone. He knew he was being watched. He knew his look and his tail always brought him unwanted attention the rare times he was seen in public, or semi-public places, but Sebastian Shaw knew better than to let curious people too close to his assassin. So at least in the closest thing Azazel ever had to a home he had the freedom to be around when he wanted, and  no one dared to come too close to him. Especially not when he was in a mood, like the one he was experiencing that night.  And without Emma, the only one able to read him, to even attempt to invade his privacy could have been lethal. People feared him, other mutants feared him, and Azazel liked that. 

 

He was used to being alone, forced to learn since he was just a child that no one had time to waste on a freak, forced to learn how to survive alone in a world that hated him. 

He found comfort in the coolness of the glass pressed against his lips, the transparent liquor quickly burning its way inside him, trying to delete Azazel’s overpowering emotions. 

 

The red-skinned demon was tired. He just wanted to sleep after a whole week of missions and too much blood on his hands, but he knew that night he was going to stay awake. Away from his room, their room in truth, their empty room. 

 

His hold on the glass tightened so much that the glass broke in thousands of little splinters and Azazel welcomed the pain. Different from the one brought by his emotions, more familiar to him. He could deal with physical pain; he healed from wounds that would have killed lesser men, but he had no idea how to handle emotional agony. 

 

Azazel closed his eyes, and that was his last mistake. His walls broke and his too-sharp senses gave him the exact measure of his current state. The real root of his turmoil. 

 

_Whisperers of pleasure. Two bodies together. One with white flawless skin, demanding his pleasure. His hands caressing  and covering the tanned skin of the other. His fingernails leaving scratches and marks. The dominant one moving, thrusting inside the warm softness. Broken words. Lips claiming and kissing the other’s man mouth, showing too much familiarity in the action._

_Legs parting, the body under the forceful one  opening for the other’s invasion, leaving nothing to the imagination._

_Janos. His Janos, so open, so close to his climax. His rich brown eyes closed, his lips red because of too many kisses and bites. His Janos with another man. Giving pleasure to someone else._

No. Azazel knew that was a mistake. Azazel knew he should stop watching those images in his mind, but he couldn’t. 

Like he couldn’t stop thinking about Janos as his. Even if they never shared those words, even if they never admitted their feelings to each other. It was easier this way, it was easier keeping their silence. 

It hurt less, when Sebastian demanded Janos’ presence in his rooms. When other men looked at him like he was a banquet and all were free to have a taste. 

 

It was easier to deny that his heart, the heart of a demon, could feel love for someone. Because Janos deserved more than what he could give to him. 

In a world where mutants were going to take their rightful place above the humans, the dark-haired young man could finally have everything he wanted - and Azazel was sure that he wasn’t what Janos  needed. 

But he still could do something for the quiet young man who owned his worthless heart in his hands without even know it. 

 

He could find a way to give him his freedom and keep him safe until that moment. Until the moment Riptide would have been free to walk away from everything with the one he freely chose. 

And if in the meantime the Master of the Winds was going to grant Azazel his time and his body, Azazel wasn’t strong enough to let the possibility pass.  

He stood and left the club, taking the bottle with him, a small pool of blood the only visible sign of his loss of control. 

He just wanted some fresh air and to be away from everything for a little while. Then he would have been ready to wear his mask all over again. 

To be again the ruthless killer, the cold and controlled soldier Sebastian Shaw was ready to send everywhere, knowing he would have taken back whatever their leader was after.  

 

°°°

 

Azazel always loved the cold. He was born during a winter night, when the snow covered with its whiteness all the dirty in the world. 

The wind was playing with his hair, and his long tail was finally free to swing without restrictions. The Black Sea, at night, in winter. Azazel couldn’t think about anything more beautiful and wild. 

 

When he had been a child, he had hated his mutation. But now, now that he was able to control his power, he was glad to use it to see places around the world that would have been otherwise unavailable to someone like him. 

 

The bottle empty now, forgotten on the rocks, and yet his mind was alive like always. He bore a sad smile on his face. 

Azazel envied the stupid humans able to forget about their problems, able to shut heir minds and live their lives like nothing bad happened in their world. And suddenly he was mad at himself to think like that. 

 

All too soon Azazel realised it was time to come back to the club before someone realised he was gone. 

He didn’t have any guard duty that night. He never had after a long mission, but that didn’t mean he was allowed to wander around. 

Shaw was very clear on that point, since the first time their path crossed.  

The word wasn’t ready yet to know about mutants. The humans didn’t need to have time to prepare themselves. So Azazel had to stay hidden, his existence known only by his leader and his victims. 

 

°°°

 

Azazel appeared in his room with a little puff of red smoke.

It was always strange to come back there after a mission. The red-skinned man was used to never share his personal space. 

He never had a place to call his when he was growing up, so since the first moment he was able to lock a door, knowing that no one could have been inside his territory, he did so. 

 

Then Riptide entered his life and everything changed. He never had a friend before, so in the beginning he didn’t have any idea what to do with him. That and the linguistic barriers that made it almost impossible for them to talk would have pushed everyone else away, but Janos was adamant and unnerving in his desire for them to be friends. And in the end he won. 

 

Now, coming back to that room wasn’t like coming back to his room anymore. There always was something belonging to Janos left. 

Small things, or big things, that didn’t matter. That time it was Janos’ pajamas, neatly folded on a pillow. That dark and smooth silk in contrast with the white of the pillowcase, but what hit Azazel hard was Janos’ scent. 

It permeated the room, like a promising ghost. A tempting whisper of something that wasn’t there. And Azazel shivered.  

 

The room was cold - cold and empty. It always seemed cold to Azazel when Riptide wasn’t there, even if he knew that was just his mind. The room had the same temperature of any other room, of that he was sure, but still, it wasn’t the same. And for the second time that night, Azazel cursed himself and his weakness.  

 

He undressed quickly and slipped under the blankets. He wrapped his tail around himself and closed his eyes, waiting, while Janos’ light scent kept him company.

 

°°°

 

After a long time, the door opened softly, and silently. Janos entered the room like he was afraid to disturb its owner. 

In moment like that, the young Latino wasn’t able to think about the room as his too. It was simply wrong, in his mind, to go there still smelling of another man. 

 

It didn’t matter that it was something he didn’t have any control over. His mother tried hard to teach him the difference between something right and something wrong, and above all she tried hard to teach her too quiet and too strange son was a sin was. 

In the eyes of God, to sleep with a man was already a huge sin. To sleep with a man cheating on the one you love, was worse. 

 

He went to the bathroom as fast as possible. Hoping, against any hope that Azazel could be asleep, not knowing when he really came back to him. Not knowing how many hours he spent with Sebastian. 

He knew that was impossible, but still he hoped. And once in the bathroom he locked the door behind himself.  

 

After the hot water washed away the external evidence of what he did all night - and after he refused to look at himself in the mirror, combing his hair with his long fingers - he was ready to face what remained of the night. 

He knew that in the morning no one would talk about what happened. New duties, new missions and no weakness allowed. Those were the rules and both he and Azazel knew well what would happen if they broke them. 

 

°°°

 

Azazel felt the blankets rise and a too warm body slip under them, trying not to disturb him. The red-skinned man hated that. 

He wanted to feel Janos, to hold him and be sure he was ok. He hated the walls he could feel the younger man was putting between them. 

 

His eyes were sharp enough to know that his skin was almost as red as his own. Once again his lover used scorching hot water. To punish himself for something that wasn’t his fault. And once again the demon waited for Janos to fall asleep. Because his beautiful Riptide was going to look for his warmth once asleep. 

With his mind asleep, his body would have been free to look for the comfort he needed but didn’t know how to ask for. 

 

Azazel didn’t have to wait for too long before he found himself with an armful of a shivering mutant. 

 

In a few hours Riptide was going to be again the strong and powerful master of the winds. For now, fast asleep in Azazel’s arms, he was just a young boy used once again, and needing the comfort and safety that his lover could give him. 

 

The older mutant wrapped his tail around Janos’ body, knowing well how strangely fascinated his lover was with that part of him, and slowly rocked him all night.        


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to everyone. 
> 
> Once again, thanks to my Beta Stormkpr, and the mistakes are all mine. She gets the all the merits if there are any.   
> And Storm, thanks again for your patience ^^

I

 

 

 

When Janos opened his eyes only a couple of hours after he had fallen asleep, he was looking straight into Azazel’s ice coloured ones, but his gaze wasn’t cold and distant.. There was a softness in those eyes that Janos knew belonged to him and him alone. He was the only one allowed to see that gaze, and that hurt him even more, as it always did after he cheated on his lover. 

 

“Are you ok?”

 

Azazel was worried. He hated to see Janos hurt, and he knew in many ways it was his fault. His accent always became thicker when he was worried, and the young Latino knew that. 

 

He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to see the red-skinned man worried or mad; he didn’t want to deal with whatever emotions Azazel may be experiencing. Janos needed his lover like always after he spent a night with Shaw. He needed Azazel to give him everything, to claim him back, to tear away all the bad memories, and take back his place inside Janos’s mind and body. 

 

°°°

 

Before he could ask more, Janos pressed his lips on Azazel’s, taking him by surprise with the hard bites he used to make his love open his mouth and surrender to the kiss. 

 

Azazel found himself flat on his back, his tail swinging madly, offended by the harsh treatment of being crashed and twisted while Janos changed their position.         

The red-skinned mutant was forced to look into Janos’s eyes and there he saw lust, yes, but above all he saw need. Need for the other man to take away what happened or simply need for him, Azazel couldn’t say, but he knew he couldn’t deny Janos what he needed and wanted. 

 

Their lips crashed and Azazel felt Janos’s tongue almost forcing its way into his mouth. The younger man was demanding in his kiss and Azazel could only open his mouth to welcome Janos’s tongue. His younger lover duelled with Azazel for the ownership on the kiss. His tongue pushed into his mouth like it was fucking Azazel, and the man knew well the rage behind Janos’s actions. Before they had to break up the kiss to breathe, Janos took Azazel’s bottom lip between his white teeth and bit, hard enough to startle his lover and drain a few drops of blood. 

 

The demon felt his lover’s tongue lightly lap at his blood and watched, mesmerized, while the pink tongue slowly became red, stained by his blood, almost the same colour of his skin. And for the first time Azazel didn’t feel utterly alone in the world.

 

He put his hands on Janos’s still-clothed thighs, caressing the chiselled muscles under the silk, hating the fabric that was keeping him from feeling the smooth skin under his fingers. 

 

His hands ran to his naked back, and finally Azazel could feel what he needed. Riptide’s warm skin, his muscles flexing under his touch, his power, flowing in his body, a part of him, and Azazel could feel everything, knowing that was a gift no one else shared. 

 

For Sebastian, Janos was just an object. Something nice to play with, and that meant he never was able to really be himself in his bed. Azazel swore to himself to never block Janos, to never try to control him in bed. Since the first time they were together Azazel always left his lover free to express himself. That was his gift to the younger Latino, or at least the red-skinned mutant hoped it was a gift in his eyes too.

 

He almost sat up, Janos still on his lap, and claimed back that sinful mouth, this time claiming it, kissing Janos like the first and last time, drinking his moans and whispers. He was getting hard and harder, just because of the taste of his man. Janos had the power to make him lose control, and it was impossible for Azazel to resist even if he was trained to never lose it. 

 

Janos moved his hands too, using his cured fingernails to mark Azazel’s skin. He knew no one could ever see the scratches on him, but Janos knew they were there; he knew he was the one who put them on that skin, and that was powerful and intoxicating.

 

He felt Azazel’s hardness and let his hands run to it while still kissing Azazel, sucking and lapping at his tongue with force, claiming everything the other man was ready to give him. 

His long and slim fingers reached for the bulge between Azazel’s legs, and for a few moments he just tormented his clothed lover, cupping and caressing him, never using enough pressure to give him the release he needed. 

 

His fingers slipped under Azazel’s pants, finally meeting the warmness of his flesh. “Mine”. Janos tended to be territorial with his lover, every time he touched Azazel, he always said that, he always claimed him, and the red-skinned man let him. He so much wished that was the truth, he so much hoped he could belong to Janos, but his treacherous mind knew better, and always reminded him of the truth, even if Azazel lied to Janos, even if he nodded all the time, admitting something that was never going to happen. 

 

This time Azazel did the same. He nodded again while Janos’s fingers lightly scratched his sensitive skin, playing with his sack and tearing from his mouth the most wonton noises that Azazel was able to produce. 

 

Azazel raised his hips, pushing himself against Janos’s fingers, needing more of his touch. His mouth was almost ready to beg for that, but his mind was blocking any words of begging he could think about. The younger man used that moment to push Azazel’s pants away, freeing his lover and exposing him to his eyes. 

 

Azazel was beautiful. Janos never had other words to describe him. His strangely coloured skin, the scars all over his body, signs of too many battles and too many wars, everything was beautiful in Azazel. Janos hated the world for never allowing the other man to show himself for who he really was. 

 

Azazel moaned loudly when Janos’s skilful hand grabbed him, and started to stroke him  using the drops of precome to ease the burn and help the friction. 

 

The demon needed to see Janos. Needed to see him naked and aroused, and his. Again, he wanted to beg the younger man, that God that had decided to be merciful enough to allow him to touch and worship his body, but he knew he couldn’t. To beg would have opened doors he wasn’t ready to face yet. 

 

Those moments were for Janos, to give him back power over his sexuality and life. He didn’t need to know what nightmares and darkness was hiding inside Azazel’s mind. That was his hell and he couldn’t stain Janos with that. 

 

Azazel did the only thing he could think about. He tore apart the delicate silk that dared to come between him and Janos’s body, and looked at his perfect body like a starving man to a banquet. The red-skinned man tried not to focus on the signs Sebastian left on him. He didn’t care about the fingerprints on his thighs, or the bites on his chest - he saw beyond those, like always. 

 

Janos’s cock was already hard and Azazel started to torment it with his nails. He needed to have Janos, needed to feel him, everything of his; it was like a drug Azazel wasn’t ready to give up. He simply needed Janos like he needed air. 

 

While continuing to torment the younger man’s sex, Azazel slowly lay back, forcing Janos to use more pressure on his body to steady himself. Again Azazel moaned loudly, but today he didn’t want to free himself from his lover’s hand. He wanted to be inside Janos and claim his body, marking him with his come. He knew that Janos needed it too.

 

He pressed two fingers against Janos’s lips, and the flash of pure lust and desire was almost enough to drive Azazel completely mad. 

 

The brown-eyed mutant bit those fingers lightly before welcoming them into his mouth. He lapped and sucked at them, like he would have done to his cock, coating them in his saliva, making them ready to open him. 

 

When he released them, with an almost obscene noise Azazel took his fingers to the small opening that was the only barrier between him and what he needed the most. 

He slowly teased the small ring of muscles, caressing it without pushing inside, just hard enough to make Janos feel it. 

 

“Stop… stop teasing…”

 

To make his point clear Janos started to move his hand faster, moving his own body against Azazel’s fingers like he was riding him. 

He needed Azazel inside him; he didn’t need his gentle touch or the slow preparation, not today. Today he needed his man. 

 

“Fuck me. Now.” 

 

The rage was again there, and Azazel could feel it clearly. He had wanted to make love to Janos, but it was clear that his lover wanted something different. 

He pushed one of his wet fingers deep inside the Latino, slowly, preparing him even if the younger man seemed sure he didn’t need it, but Azazel would have never hurt him. 

 

When three of his fingers were inside Janos, and Azazel knew his body was relaxed and ready for him, he used his free arm to lift his lover enough to make clear that was time. 

Janos put one hand on his lover’s chest to steady himself while with the other he led Azazel’s cock to his entry. 

 

He used both hands to balance himself and impaled himself on Azazel. The demon would have tried to stop Janos from doing that in any other moment. But he knew Janos needed to erase any memory of another man inside him and to punish himself in the same time. So he always opted for pain, and no matter how carefully Azazel prepared him, or how ready Janos was, his body needed pain to adjust and it always found a way to have exactly that. 

 

Janos started to ride him hard and fast, taking Azazel as deep as possible. He took total control of their movements and interweaved his fingers with Azazel’s hand still tormenting his cock. Once again he chose the speed, choosing a punishing rhythm like the one he was using to take Azazel inside himself. 

 

They came together. Azazel deep inside Janos, and Janos all over Azazel’s chest, marking his lover with his scent too. But that wasn’t enough. Janos needed something more. Something before the dawn. 

 

He moved slowly, taking Azazel with him, and only stopped when he was laying on his side, with Azazel behind him, still deep inside his body. 

Now he could forget, at least for a little bit, what happened with another man, and be ready for another day. 


	3. Chapter 3

II

 

 

Another day came, and Azazel and Janos were ready for it. They had a shower together, and Azazel teleported himself into Janos’s room to take one of his suits while the younger man combed his hair and looked at the marks Azazel left on his skin with a satisfied smirk. 

 

When they both were ready they appeared together in the kitchen, startling the staff. Azazel began to make breakfast for himself and his lover. Janos loved his cooking, and Azazel enjoyed using the skills he had possessed since he was a child. It was relaxing and Azazel wasn’t going to pass the chance to see Janos’s eyes to light up with happiness like every time the red-skinned man took time to do something only for him. 

 

“What are you going to make today?”

 

Neither of them needed many words between them, but sometimes it was nice to have a normal conversation, in a normal kitchen, like they were normal lovers, and not two mutants ready to fight a war against humankind. 

 

“Nothing too elaborate. Blinis with sour cream and smoked salmon.”

 

Janos couldn’t help to smile one of his rare real smiles. Azazel knew well how much he loved blinis, and he always was sure to have all the ingredients ready. He never told Janos, but the Latino knew well that attention was only for him, and that warmed his heart. 

 

Azazel wasn’t good with his words. But it was clear by how he acted that he cared for Janos very much, but the younger man wanted so much more than just that; he wanted everything that was Azazel, and he swore to himself that sooner or later he was going to win the reserved and lonely man. 

 

°°°

 

Azazel was looking at Janos out of the corner of his eyes while he acted totally focused on preparing the breakfast. 

He knew the man was thinking about something deep, while almost creating a hole in his back with his burning gaze. 

 

Maybe the younger man was looking for a way to end things with him. That was going to break the heart that no one believed he had, but maybe it was for the best. Maybe it was time to set him free. When he almost made up his mind to take the burden from Janos’s shoulders and say something first, he felt strong and warm arms hug his waist and hot, smooth lips brushing his ears before they slipped along his neck in a trail of kisses that ended in a hard bite. Janos always did that when he wanted his total attention. 

 

“What was that for?”

 

The only answer he got was an enigmatic smirk. One that would have driven him crazy if only they had time to enjoy each other more. 

 

Once breakfast was ready, Azazel put the blinis in a plate and began to add the sour cream and the salmon.

Janos looked at him with a strange expression on his face. He didn’t understand why Azazel was putting enough food for both of them on just one plate.

 

“Come sit”. The red-skinned man adjusted himself on the chair he was sitting in and left enough room for him to sit on his lap. 

That was unusual for Azazel. He never liked to publicly show physical contact with anyone, and even if sitting on the lap of another grown up man could have been strange for many, Janos knew better than to let that possibility slip from his fingers. 

He knew well he was going to burn in hell for everything he did in his life, but he refused to think God would punish him for who he decided to love.  

 

The younger man took his place and he never felt he belonged anywhere more than in the moment Azazel’s lips kissed his cheek lightly and one of his arms locked around his waist as if he was worried Janos could disappear. 

 

He took a bite of the warm food and put it on Janos’s lips. If the Latino was surprised to be hand-fed by his lover, he didn’t show it. 

His white teeth lightly nibbled Azazel’s fingers while his lips closed around the food, and his smooth tongue lapped every trace of the cream from Azazel’s flesh. 

 

The kept eating breakfast in a comfortable silence, Azazel feeding Janos, and only absently eating himself. 

Janos’s tongue kept lapping at his fingers like a lazy cat, and the red-skinned mutant was happy and in peace for the first time in a very long time. His mind wasn’t trying to cage him with the ghosts of his past and all he could think about was the young man in his arms. 

 

If only he still had one, Azazel would have gladly sold his soul to the devil himself for moments like that with Janos. 

Sadly he lost his soul a long time ago, to men he didn’t want to remember.

 

A sharp bite took Azazel’s attention back to Janos, who wasn’t even trying to look sorry. 

 

“Don’t run away from me.”

 

His voice was hard and demanding, and it probably would have shocked anyone who didn’t really know him, but Azazel knew well how strong the gentle-looking Latino really was.

 

The red-skinned mutant smiled at him, and started again to feed his lover, this time with his mind totally focused only on him. 

 

 

°°°

 

 

In the same time, in the master bedroom, Sebastian Shaw was awake, and intending to dress in his usual formal attire. 

He loved the comforts the new world could offer if you had enough money to pay for everything. 

He was used to the best in life.

 

The best clothes, the best education, the best lovers, but there was still something missing. He knew  he had power, and his power earned him almost eternal youth. He had money and soon he was going to rule the world, after the terrible loss of the entire human kind. 

And yet, he wasn’t happy. 

 

His mind couldn’t find peace. In his long life he always got what he wanted, no matter how many corpses he left on the floor for that. 

He always took his pleasure in every form. And his perversions and darkest needs found their ways to be satisfied. 

 

He just spent the night with a beautiful man, taking his pleasure in his body, again and again, for hours and hours, making him do things that would have an experienced whore blushing deep red, and yet he wasn’t satisfied. 

 

Not that Janos wasn’t good between the sheets; he was probably one of the best male lovers he ever had. And his pain in cheating on his lover was so delicious, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more pain, real pain, real desperation to really enjoy his climaxes. 

 

He just took Janos to his bed because he was a nice toy, but he wasn’t what he really wanted. The Latino was just a tool to get his real target. But it looked like his goal was still far away, and that enraged the man. He wasn’t used to waiting to be satisfied. 

 

Sebastian was going to use his power to break every mirror in the room when a small and delicate hand touched his shoulder.

 

Emma Frost looked as beautiful as usual, even after a mission that cost her almost every ounce of her power. 

She tried to smile, to let Sebastian see in her eyes that everything was going to end exactly like he planned. 

 

“Do you have any idea, my love, how hard it is to find real hell, real desperation into someone now? How hard is to find someone who really begs for death, and instead is forced to live to suffer again and again in the hands of someone that is not really human? Now that the war is over and only a nightmare memory. Now that people are starting to think they are safe again. You have no idea, my beauty, how delicious it was to feel the suffering of someone else. How delicious to inflict all that pain. And now, nothing…”

 

He sounded almost sad. His voice was deep and beautiful, and if only he was talking about something else, he could have moved people to tears. 

And the real reason he was going to start WWIII was self-gratification from all the pain and desperation he was going to cause. 

 

Emma hated him for what she was doing, but felt she had no choice. The moment she let her mind melt with Sebastian’s while they were talking to Azazel, the day they first met him, she knew Azazel was doomed. 

 

She was surprised Sebastian didn’t even raise a brow when the first image of what was locked inside the dark room in the darkest corner of Azazel’s mind invaded her mind and hit him through their bond. But she felt his pleasure. 

Like a tongue of pure fire, brushing every nerve in his body. All that pleasure, so much more than what he felt in his orgasms during sex. So much better. And she knew in that moment what was stirring inside Sebastian. 

 

The perfect and flawless gentleman was gone, and in his place was a dark monster, something full of pure sadism, whose sexuality was permeated by the need to make other feel pain and desperation. The monster wanted Azazel’s past and soul, and no one could hope to stop him from reaching his goal.

 

“Soon, my love, soon. I promise.”

 

Her voice was trembling, but she couldn’t lie to him. She knew the time was close when she would have sold Azazel, giving him to Sebastian on a silver tray. And she knew the other mutant couldn’t be saved. 

 

But clearly her fears and her doubts were visible, because something snapped in Sebastian. Every semblance of kindness in him was gone, and only the deep rage and fury remained. 

 

“That’s better, my beauty. I’d hate to be forced to ruin this face.” Sebastian forced her to raise her face, gripping her chin between her fingers, and squeezing until he could feel her bones starting to creak. 

Emma let go a whimper of pain, but that only made him smirk. 

 

“You better to be sure it’ll be soon, my beauty. Otherwise I could forget to be a gentleman with a beautiful woman like you”

 

Fear. For the first time in a very long time Emma Frost was afraid of someone. She knew well what was in his mind, and clearly watching what he was planning to her, in detail, was enough to make her wish she never was born. 

 

“Soon… soon I promise…”

 

Sebastian kissed her lips hard, forcing her to accept his dominance, projecting in her mind everything he wanted to do to her, and she could only accept and let her body submit to his desires. 


	4. Chapter 4

III

 

Emma was the first to arrive to the kitchen. She almost froze at the door when she saw the intimate moment between Janos and Azazel.

Something she believed gone a long time ago broke when she thought about the betrayal she was going to inflict on them.

 

She chastised herself. She couldn’t allow herself to be weak again, to feel for others when their suffering could mean she was safe from harm

.

She was born into a family that hated her for her gifts, and used her for their purposes. She tried to be a good girl, to help others children like her when she was younger, but that never did any good for her.

 

She had to learn too fast that sometimes sacrificing others was the only way to survive. She kept telling herself, again and again, that this time was different. Azazel already survived what those men did to him.

Having to live that nightmare again wasn’t going to be worse than what he survived, right?

 

But even if Emma was using that excuse with herself, she couldn’t keep her eyes from the two men who so clearly loved each other, even in this world that couldn’t accept love between two men, this world that couldn’t accept mutants.

 

Janos and Azazel where exactly everything that the world could happily hate. They were different in every possible way, and what Emma couldn’t understand was the fact that they didn’t care. They were happy, together. Or at least they could have been if only they would tell each other the truth about their feelings.

 

It was in the moment that thought formed in her head that she knew she was going to invade their minds, for a good reason this time, after Sebastian had his way with Azazel. That could have been a good way to tell she was sorry without having her to admit to her part in Sebastian’s plan.

 

°°°

 

Azazel felt Emma the moment she arrived. He didn’t need to read minds to know that she was watching him and Janos, and he didn’t like that.

He didn’t like anyone invading the privacy of his moments with Janos. Azazel knew all too well how rare those moments were, and didn’t want to share them with someone he didn’t trust.

 

The older mutant met Emma Frost more than six years ago, in Czechoslovakia, when Sebastian Shaw had finally been able to track him after years of hunting the teleporter. She was the beautiful and unreadable woman who wasn’t only Sebastian’s lover, but his bodyguard too. She shielded him with her mind and body, and was as cold as he was.

 

She led the interview Sebastian forced on him, to be sure the other mutant wasn’t working for anyone else, or didn’t have any information he didn’t want to share.

 

Azazel knew he’d never forget the moment he felt her inside his mind for the first time. It was a violation like he never felt before.

He had known she was able to go everywhere in his mind, even in the darkest corners where he kept his secrets. And he knew those where exactly the places she was looking for. (I like this background, this glimpse of how he met Emma and Shaw. Good job).

 

°°°

 

Janos was getting up to prepare Emma her usual cup of tea, when Azazel’s arm tightened and a hard expression placed a mask on Azazel’s face.

Something was very wrong with his lover, and even if the young Latino didn’t know what it was, he knew it was trigged by Emma.

 

He raised a hand and put it lightly on Azazel’s face, slowly caressing the smooth skin with his thumb. Janos was looking directly into his lover’s eyes, smiling, and his expression spoke of much love, trust and safety.

 

It was like the two of them were talking. A dialogue no power or mutations could have explained. Their souls were communicating and Emma was suddenly and extremely jealous of what was happening in front of her eyes.

 

Azazel let him go, regretting the loss of Janos’s warmth against him.

 

Never in her whole life she had experienced something so deep with another person, not even with her powers and the possibility to bend other s’ minds to her wishes, but she always had wanted that kind of relationship with someone.

 

Sadly she fell in love with the wrong man. She knew that Sebastian wasn’t the kind of man able to love someone, but still, she couldn’t fight when she started to fall for him, and now she was his right hand, his lover, and his accomplice in the many terrible things he did for his own pleasure.

 

She was so deep in love with him she didn’t even react when she found out he was one of the doctors who betrayed everything they swore to protect, and worked inside the camps during the World War II.

Not even that was enough for Emma Frost to run away from Sebastian; not that and not seeing with her own eyes one of the innocents he used as a guinea pig.

 

Emma Frost was lost, a lost cause, a lost woman, a lost little girl who only found kindness in the arms of a man who was in truth a manipulative monster, and she didn’t care anymore.

The world they were going to destroy and rebuild and rule as the dominant race took everything from her, and made her the cold woman she was, but maybe in her it was still a little sparkle of the soul she once had. That little spark that was making it so damn hard to sell Azazel to Sebastian’s pleasure.

 

“I’m not going to bite him, Azazel; you can let him come close…”

 

She sat at the table, waiting for her tea, like the queen she thought she was, and watched Azazel and Janos’s reaction to her words.

Sadly it seemed like the two men didn’t want to entertain her in her little morning game, but at least she got her tea a moment before Sebastian Shaw arrived in all his glory.

 

°°°

 

The man was wearing a pristine navy blue outfit that only made his soulless eyes appear even colder than usual but increased his attractiveness and his lean body.

 

Sebastian pressed a kiss on Emma’s head before sitting close to her. It was like the temperature in the room drastically dropped the moment he sat, but what froze Azazel’s blood in his veins was the cold and inhuman smirk that formed on his lips when he looked at Janos.

 

“Good morning gentlemen… Did you two have a good night of rest?”

 

Sebastian loved to play with his little mice, and Janos, Emma and Azazel were his personal toys, deadly and lethal, and with powers great enough to scare the entire world, but they were still just toys in his hands.

They were made for his entertainment, to help him pass the time, pass those years that escaped for everyone except him.

 

The world around him was changing so fast, and he was the only perpetual thing in the kaleidoscope of lights and noises and information that otherwise could drive him crazy.

He needed his little toys, and they needed him, because he learned - time after time, and in the camps - that every creature, every so-called victim in truth need his tormentor to keep going.

 

The man had to use all his willpower not to laugh when he saw Azazel’s fist getting pale with the need to hit him.

He always loved his reactions. The well-trained soldier, the man used to always following orders and surviving anything couldn’t keep his temper in check when Janos was threatened or simply in the middle of a bad situation.

 

Janos was Azazel’s weak spot; that was clear. And Sebastian was going to use his weakness to his advantage.

He knew, watching them together day after day, how to get what he wanted. He knew the right buttons to press, the right things to say.

 

Emma was going to be a great and important help, but in the end Sebastian wanted Azazel to go willingly to his bed; he wanted the other mutant able to blame only himself for everything Sebastian was going to do to him.

 

Shaw couldn’t help but wonder when the quiet and silent Latino he had found in a dirty alley in Bogota had first fallen so hard for Azazel.

He could feel Janos’s rage through the bond with Emma. If he closed his eyes and focussed enough, Sebastian was sure he could taste the bile rising in Janos’s mouth for what he dared to do with his innocent question.

That was going to make his victory even sweeter.

 

It was time for Sebastian to play his game and he knew it. After months of waiting, he was ready to start.

 

“I hate to ruin breakfast, but sadly we are at war, and we can’t let our enemies to know they are under attack. That means we have to work faster and harder. And that we have to start from the leaders of the Soviet Block…”

 

Azazel almost felt the food he just ate coming back in his throat. He had a bad feeling.

He still had the smell of burnt flesh and blood in his nostrils after the last time he visited a gulag, and Sebastian seemed to like those place to organize his meetings with the allies that only were pawns in his hands.

 

He wondered if sending them to Russia, or whatever it was they were going to end up, meant he had time to fuck Janos without worrying about interruptions.

 

“My love here will steal the real plans for the defences they want to use against any American threat. The real locations where they want to put their men, the real places where their spies really are, everything they are trying to keep secret will be in our hands soon. But Emma can’t go there alone. She’s too beautiful to travel alone in this dangerous world…”

 

Emma smiled coldly. She knew well what Sebastian was doing, what his plan was, but she didn’t care. It was enough for her to make herself believe his words were true, because after all, when he would have had what he was obsessed with, when his lust would be spent in Azazel’s pain and body, she was the one left in his bed, by his side, and that was enough for her. Maybe she was never meant to be the only one in Sebastian’s mind and bed, but she was always going to be the first.

 

“She needs someone to keep her company during the nights she’ll be forced to endure boring company, and endless talks about politics and power, and of course to defend her honour when one of those men will try to lure her into his bed.”

 

Azazel was confused now. There was no way he could do that for Emma. Maybe Sebastian was thinking about showing him? But that was insane, especially now that they were so close to their goal.

 

“Riptide , you are going to be Emma’s safe-keeper and partner in her nights in Moscow. And you are going to take good care of her.”

 

The silence in the room was so thick and unreal that Azazel could feel it like a too-heavy cloak around his shoulders.

He didn’t understand what was going on, but knew for sure that he didn’t like it.

 

“Now you two go and get ready. Azazel will take you in Moscow in one hour.”

 

Sebastian Shaw left the room before anyone had time to speak.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. Thanks for the attention you are giving to this story. I'm here to ask a favour. sadly real life and other tasks jump my Beta, so I need one for the last 3 chapters of this story. Please let me know if someone is interested.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. I have some news, if you want to follow me un tumblr, or stop to say hi the name is still herbeloved82.tumblr.com  
> I'm still looking for a Beta for this story, if you are interested let me know. And thanks for the help

IV

 

Janos was getting ready for the trip, taking care of his suits and putting them neatly into a travel bag when Azazel teleported into the room, making him jump.

The silk tie he was holding slipped from his fingers while the other mutant grabbed his waist and locked him in the cage of his arms. He didn’t have time to speak before the older man pressed his lips against the pulse point on his neck, kissing and biting and marking him in the sweetest and cruellest way.

 

Azazel put his fingers on his lover’s cheek and turned his head so he could lick and bite at his lips before slipping his tongue into his mouth, claiming him with the kiss.

 

Janos pushed against Azazel’s body, like he wanted to melt with him and never leave his arms again. He knew Azazel was worried and unbalanced. He had thought he was going to be the one sent to Russia, and he didn’t know what to do given this new development and he didn’t know how to help his lover.

 

The truth was he too was confused. He often wondered how the older mutant felt when sent to missions he knew could take weeks to finish. How he felt leaving and knowing his lover was going to spend the time with another man.

 

He always worried that something could go wrong and Azazel could be injured or worse, or for some reason he wouldn’t come back to him, and that simple thought was enough to make him crazy. But now the roles were inverted and if Azazel was feeling as he always did, the young Latino was ready to curse God and every other power in the universe for that.

 

“I don’t want you to go.”

 

Azazel’s words sounded tense; his whole body was vibrating with restrained energy and agitation and Janos needed to find a way to calm him down. He knew what Azazel could do with his power and skills, and the last thing he wanted was to see him and Shaw fight. Azazel was a powerful mutant, but he couldn’t defeat Sebastian.

  

“It’s just a mission my… Azazel. We know it’s what we must do for the cause.”

 

The young Latino bit his tongue just in time. He almost let the word slip from his lips, and that wasn’t the right time to let Azazel know how he really felt. Not right before a mission when God only knew what he was expected to do to keep Emma safe and their mission a secret.  

 

“It’s not normal, Janos. My instinct is telling me that there is something wrong, I don’t know what but is not normal. Mr Shaw never denies himself your company when there is the necessity of a mission he’s not going to lead personally…”

 

Janos’s heart broke when he saw the flash of pain in Azazel’s eyes, but once again that wasn’t the right time to act on his feelings.

 

“I’m afraid this is a trap, Janos. I’m afraid you’ll be in danger and I won’t be able to help you. I can’t lose you, Janos.”

 

It was the first time that Janos saw Azazel, his strong and cold demon, so close to panic. Maybe the older mutant felt something for him after all. Maybe he had feelings for him and he swore to God he was going to come back and they would talk and be sincere to each other, and soon. He already wasted too much time, and he didn’t want to do that anymore. Either Azazel really had feelings for him or he didn’t. It was time for the truth.

 

“Emma will be there. Nothing is going to happen, Azazel. It’s just a mission, and Mr. Shaw simply changed his usual way. I’m sure we’ll realise soon that nothing is wrong in that.”

 

The young Latino wasn’t going to admit it, but he had a feeling he was lying to his lover. He had a feeling Azazel was right, but he couldn’t risk triggering a bad reaction with his own fears. The only thing Janos could do was to kiss Azazel with the same passion the other put in their previous kiss. He needed to distract Azazel and they surely had enough time to enjoy themselves otherwise.

°°°

 

Azazel couldn’t repress a sigh when he saw his lover elegantly drop on his knees in front of him with his eyes full of lust. Azazel couldn’t stop the little smile that was forming on his expressive face or the wave of tenderness he felt coming straight from his soul.

 

Janos was beautiful. The older man moved his hand to cup his face and caress his smooth hair with curious fingers while his trousers were being open. Janos’s fingers boldly began to touch and stroke his cock.

 

He smiled to his younger lover. He wanted him so much that sometimes he was scared by the intensity of his need and feelings for Janos. He felt a source of possessiveness flow in his veins, and when Janos put his hand on Azazel’s hips to help himself with the balance he pushed them away.

 

“Hands behind your back, Janos. Use only your moth.”

 

The force hidden in Azazel’s smooth tone threw Janos’s almost beyond the edge, but the young Latino was able to stop himself and control his needs. He didn’t want this to be over before it started.

 

When Janos did what he was asked for, Azazel’s fingers began to thread through his hair, fisting it, keeping his head in place as he started to push inside his mouth, slow in the beginning, letting Janos the time to adjust to his lover before starting to fuck his mouth with long, and deep thrusts. 

 

Azazel knew well how much Janos loved a little pain in their sex life, how he loved to be dominated or to dominate when he was feeling like that, and right now the older man could read in his lover’s eyes the deep need to feel him take total power and control over him. He knew Janos needed that before a mission, and the one they were going to face was a very strange and unsettling one.

 

He tightened his grips on Janos’s hair. He knew that was hurting his lover, but from the flash in his eyes and the moan Janos was able to emit from deep inside his throat, Azazel also knew that the pain radiating from his scalp was probably connected to his cock. Azazel could see it through his perfectly tailored trousers.

 

“Take it out. I want you to come with me. I want you to mess yourself while I’ll shoot my cum in your mouth.”

 

Azazel’s voice was broken by pleasure but he didn’t care; he loved when his lover was able to feel the pleasure he was giving him in his tone.

 

Janos wrapped his tongue around the head when Azazel pulled out; the older man’s eyes rolled back in his head before he shoved his cock deep down Janos’s throat. Azazel felt his lover’s throat clamp around his sex, and one of his hands caressed his younger lover’s face and hair, keeping him focused. He knew he was deeper than he usually went with his lover, but Janos seemed ready to take everything Azazel was going to give him. Janos almost came like a teenager when he felt Azazel’s hands suddenly wrap around his throat, massaging from the outside the spot where his cock was resting.   

 

When Janos moaned for the double stimulation, and for the feeling of Azazel’s strong hands, usually able to kill in a few seconds, gently caressing him, Azazel couldn’t resist and if possible he thrust even further, starting to move with an almost punishing rhythm that Janos was more than happy to follow.

Azazel’s fingers started to flex against Janos’s scalp, his nails were scratching the delicate skin there, and that was pushing Janos fast over the edge.

And when the young Latino felt Azazel lose control, and his warm cum inside his mouth (or would it be down the throat instead of in the mouth?), while waves of pure pleasure let his older lover totally free from his tight control, he felt himself come hard and he knew he would have messed his own trousers if Azazel didn’t demand that he bare his cock.

 

Janos didn’t let go Azazel’s cock before he cleanned his tongue and lips of every drop of his pleasure.

The noises he was making alone were almost able to make Azazel hard again, but the older mutant knew there wasn’t time for that.

But the unspoken promise of more when they were going to be together again remained suspended between them as a spell.

 

°°°

 

Emma almost jumped when she felt Azazel’s and Janos’s pleasure. That time she didn’t mean to intrude in their privacy, but she had to open her bond to them so she could lead Sebastian to what he wanted.

A way to go into Azazel’s mind even with her present.

 

She didn’t expect to feel so much pleasure, so much love tying their souls together. She had thought, in the beginning, that what was between Janos and Azazel was lust, pure attraction, or a way to vent energies, nothing more.

But what hit her only a few moments ago was so much more than that. It was love and passion and trust.         

 

Sebastian was behind her with a glass of scotch and a Martini for her.

 

“What’s wrong, my Queen?”

 

She took the glass he was giving her and took a sip before answering.

 

“Azazel thinks that this mission is strange. He’s worried something is going to happen to Janos, and is not happy you changed the rules. But he won’t voice his worries. He knows you are our leader and you have to make hard decisions sometimes, but he would prefer to be the one forced to go to Russia again. He’s so worried for Riptide’s safety that he would prefere to leave him here, with you, at your mercy, and take is place during this mission. Everything would be better for Azazel that waiting here without information on his lover’s safety.

Sebastian was smirking. So it really looked like his best assassin was protective of his lover. That was going to give him the right hold to introduce his offer.

 

“Well, he’ll soon realise he was right.”

 

Emma finished her  drink and got up, her dress fitting her perfectly. She was ready to go.

 

“The bond will be open as soon as he’ll accept, my King, and he’ll be at your mercy. You’ll be able to follow him into his mind, into his past. You’ll feel everything he felt and you’ll be with him when he’ll be forced to live everything all over again.”

 

“That’s exactly what I want. That and the information you are going to take back here.”

 

There was a clear threat in his voice, and Emma knew she would pay dearly for any mistake she made.

 

“It’s time for you and Riptide to go, my Queen. Make me proud of you.”

 

Sebastian Shaw kissed her hard before leading her to meet Riptide and Azazel.

The demon-like mutant never had the chance to see the ugly smirk who flashed in front of his eyes before they disappeared in a veil of red smoke.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I found a Beta for this story, so I should be able to finish and post it in a little time.   
> If you want to say hi, follow me on tumblr at herbeloved82.tumblr.com

V

 

The club was hosting a party that night. Sebastian Shaw knew how to entertain his guests and allies, and Azazel could hear the music and the noises from his room.

Sebastian had been clear, He had to stay out of the way until the last guest left, and Azazel was going to do exactly that.

He was perfectly fine in his empty room, without lights, where Janos’s smell was already starting to fade away, with only a bottle of vodka to keep him company. Yes, he really was perfectly fine.

 

Azazel wasn’t thinking about what could go wrong in a mission. His mind wasn’t giving him the worst possible nightmares where Janos ended up in the hands of men he knew all too well. Men ready to pay a fortune for the pleasure of abusing mutants.

He wasn’t thinking about his lover trapped in some hole, forgotten by God, at the mercy of men ready to enslave him and sell him night after night.

 

The soldier in him wasn’t even thinking about the possibility of Janos in the hands of political enemies, ready to torture him to know everything about America and possible plans to start a war against Russia.

The soldier was silent, only the victim of those abuses was talking right now, and Azazel didn’t have any way to stop that voice, he didn’t have any way to keep the memories away from him. Only this time was worse than usual, because now Janos was the protagonist of those memories;his young and kind love was the one abused and hurt so bad he was begging for death.

 

Azazel threw the empty bottle against the wall and waited, breathing hard like his lungs were crushed in a vice, for the party to end so he could go and have more vodka to try and stop the voices and the nightmares.

He knew his memories would follow him into his stupors, but at least he hoped he was going to be the one in their hands once he was completely drunk, and not his Janos anymore.

 

A sad laugh started in his throat. Janos would be so mad at him if he knew he was thinking about drinking so much to pass out and possibly wake up only on time to go and take him and Emma back home. But right now that was what Azazel really wanted. To fall asleep and wake up only for Janos.

 

°°°

 

Finally, early in the morning, or too late for someone, the party ended and Azazel was free to join the empty place, hunting for more alcohol.

He was lost in his thoughts when the air around him started to vibrate with power and Azazel had to raise his eyes from his glass to see what was happening. It was unusual, indeed, that Shaw displayed his power so freely

 

It was a strange feeling. It was like everything in the room was alive, like he could feel the energy of every little thing, but the older mutant didn’t know if he liked that much or not. It was like Sebastian Shaw was making a point and Azazel wanted to know why he needed to show that now.

 

Their leader sat on a stool close to Azazel, and he stared at the demon-like man with an intensity that was almost making Azazel wish he could crawl out of his own skin and disappear. There was something in those eyes, something that Azazel knew all too well.

 

They were the eyes of a scientist looking at a human guinea pig. The eyes of a man used to having at his mercy everyone he wanted. They eyes of a soul too old for his own body, a soul that learned how to inflict pain and destruction.

 

His long and manicured hands reached for a glass, and Sebastian served himself some of the vodka the Russian was having.

He seemed totally unaware of Azazel’s reaction to his presence.

 

“Someone once said that only spies and guilty people drink alone, Azazel.” He raised his glass like he was going to toast and drank it at once.

“And you are not a spy, of that I’m sure, otherwise you’d be dead already. So, I wonder what are you feeling guilty about?”

 

Azazel was startled by Sebastian’s words. There were so many things he was guilty of, and a lot of those things he had done under his leader’s orders; but the way Sebastian was looking at him, like a shark who finally saw his prey, his smile too sweet, his body too close, Azazel realised he was right, something was going on, yet he had no idea what.

 

He knew he had to find an answer, and try not to show Sebastian that for the first time since he was strong enough to defeat his enemies with his powers and his weapons, he was scared to death by a man all over again.

He had learned all too well to never show fear to a predator.

 

“There are a lot of things I’m guilty of, if we ask humans. But as you always say, their laws aren’t our laws, so…”

 

Sebastian smiled at him, showing his white teeth, and still trying to be too gentle, but soon a laugh was born in his throat and it was as cold as ice. The same one you can hear in a bad horror movie when the villain shows his real face. He drank another glass of water, and Azazel thought that maybe that was enough for him. Suddenly he wasn’t sure anymore he wanted to get drunk and lose his mind, because God only knew what could happen if he let his walls down with Sebastian Shaw in the same room. 

 

“But you know, Azazel, that I’m not talking about the murders and robberies, and all the other crimes you committed for our cause. I’m talking about what wakes you up at night, with a hand over your own mouth, to stop the screams that fight to get free. I’m talking about what makes you withdraw every time someone accidently touches you. I’m talking about your dirty little secret Azazel, the one you keep from Riptide himself, locked in a room in your mind that you never want to visit.”

 

Azazel felt the blood drain from his face - he didn’t know if that was possible, but he was sure he was as pale as a ghost.

Shaw knew about his past. But how? How was that possible? No one was supposed to know. He had killed everyone who knew what happened to him. He killed his torturers, one by one, making sure they knew why they were going to die.

 

“I… I don’t know what you are talking about, Mr Shaw, and I’m afraid that like any other man who wasn’t born in Russia you aren’t taking you vodka well.”

 

He was conscious that his voice was trembling, and that his body was screaming that he was ready to run and never come back, but Azazel knew he couldn’t do that. Not if he hoped to see Janos again. Not if he wanted to fight with him for a world where they could live without hiding.

 

Sebastian started to laugh so hard that the whole room suddenly turned ice cold.

 

“Oh Azazel, you have no idea of the things I know, of the things I can do, and trust me, drinking vodka like a Russian is something I learned a long time ago. How do you think I was able to persuade them to agree to the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact in 1939? How do you think I was able to have the Nazi hierarchy ready to eat from my hands when I asked for more  lab rats to work on? They were so easy to manipulate, Azazel; you have no idea. Every one of them had their weak spots. Some wanted more power, some wanted a beautiful woman who accidently was already married, some wanted beautiful little children, so pure and unstained, and I was able to give them everything they wanted, and my price was such a little thing in the end.”

 

Azazel wanted to throw up. He always knew who Sebastian Shaw had been in the past, he always knew what happened in the Nazi camps, because he saw the same thing happen in Russia too. But hearing the pleasure in his voice while talking about that period in time that the all of humanity considered a shame was making the older mutant feel sick to his core.

 

“I know all too well what you are, Azazel. Not the man you are now, the façade you created for yourself of a man with no heart and no soul, ready to kill every enemy on his path, and never regret anything. I know who you really are. The little whore used and used again and again. The little whore ready to serve and seduce dozens of different men every day.”

 

Sebastian raised another glass, watching Azazel from the rim of it. The other mutant’s fear and disgust and rage, all so delicious for someone used to feeding on pain.

 

Azazel was fighting old demons that time only made stronger. He was fighting voices he wanted to forget. Men who had had power over him, who were being his masters, telling him again and again that it was all his fault. Because of his looks he never was going to find someone able to love him. Because of his looks he made men lose their minds. He was something exotic and rare, and they all had the right to take a piece of him.

 

“What… what do you want?”

 

Azazel wasn’t even sure where he found the strength to ask that question. He could taste the bile in his mouth, and after so many years, he could feel again its taste. His throat suddenly closed and Azazel could only hope not to choke on his own vomit. 

 

“I have a deal to offer you, Azazel. A deal where my part, once again, will only request a little price.”

 

Everything in Azazel was screaming to kill the threat, erase the menace and start his life all over again.

Maybe he could go and take Janos, and they could live somewhere and finally be happy. And even if his mind knew that was only a dream he wanted to grab that thought and never let it go, because the reality was going to be another hell, and Azazel wasn’t sure this time he could survive.

 

“What deal?”

 

“I’ll never call Riptide to my bed again. He’ll be yours and only yours…”

 

Azazel’s blood was ringing in his ears, and only his training was keeping him from passing out right there in front of Sebastian.

 

“And for my price, I want you Azazel, I want everything you hide in your mind. Every moment you spent with those men, every second, every single thing they did to you. I want your body, and I will be them all. I want you to live all over again those years in hell, and I want you to give that to me.”

 

Azazel was frozen. Time and space didn’t exist anymore; the only thing he could hear was Sebastian’s voice. And he knew he couldn’t do what the man asked. He couldn’t be with another man like that.

He never let anyone else have his body since the moment he got free. But Sebastian also promised Janos’s freedom. He promised that his love was going to finally be able to decide with whom he was going to sleep. Never to be forced again to submit his body for someone else’s pleasure.

 

“As I said, Azazel, mine is such a small price, after all. What is another lover, another man taking your body when you can free Riptide from whoring himself out like you did so many times before?”

 

Yes, what was that little thing when so many already had had his body? Azazel still couldn’t talk. He couldn’t believe that that was really happening. The words couldn’t leave his mouth. He couldn’t give Sebastian an answer, even if that meant losing the only chance of giving Janos back freedom over his body. He hated himself for that. Hated himself for his weakness.

 

“You have one hour, Azazel, to give me your answer. If you won’t be in my bed in sixty minutes, I’ll understand that Riptide is nothing to you, after all. I’ll understand that he’s not good enough, and I promise, I’ll free you from his presence. There are so many politicians and military men interested in a beautiful fuck toy. They can have him if he’s not good enough for you.”

 

The man walked away leaving Azazel speechless and finally free to be sick. He used his power to go away, as far away as possible. He didn’t even know where he was before he collapsed. And when Azazel opened his eyes he saw he was on a beach, the same place where he met Janos for the first time, when he first recruited him for Sebastian Shaw.

 

Azazel let his tears fall and he screamed, he screamed his disgust and hate for the humanity that hurt him when he was only a child and didn’t know why all those men were so mean. He screamed, because he had sworn to never let someone else to have that kind of power over him. He screamed and cried because he felt as a helpless child all over again. And above all he screamed and cried because that broken child still inside of him was going to be hurt all over again, and stained again by a man pleasure. And once again he could do noting to protect that child.    


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy non-con, and mention of past child abuse. Please be careful.

VI

 

Sebastian’s room was cold and impersonal in Azazel’s eyes, but the mutant tried to not look around too carefully; after all he wasn’t there for his pleasure, but for business. He could only hope that if he kept telling himself that, his body would accept the truth and let things be. But the truth was that Azazel knew all too well that his body wasn’t going to simply shut down and be used without fight back, and he also knew what the price for his rebellion was going to be.

 

He sat on the end of the bed, waiting; the towel he had around his waist the only thing to cover his body. Azazel didn’t lose time getting dressed after the quick shower he took to raise from his body and soul the feeling that Sebastian’s gaze left on him. Nothing had happened but Azazel already felt dirty and used, like when he was a child. The mutant let go of a shaking breath and waited for Sebastian to show and begin his torture.

 

°°°

 

Sebastian entered his room with a glass of scotch in his hand, the noise of the ice against the glass the only warning before Azazel could see the man. He was wearing a dressing gown and his feet were naked.

Azazel could have found him attractive if it wasn’t for his eyes: cold and soulless and ready to tear apart the world to see the pain and despair hidden behind it all.

 

“I see you came, my friend.”

 

The mockery in his voice wasn’t what almost had Azazel teleporting himself to Siberia or even farther away that that. It was the lust that almost pushed Azazel on his knees, sick all over again.

 

Azazel could only nod, and in truth he didn’t think Sebastian really wanted to hear an answer from him. It was enough that he was there, almost naked, sitting on his bed; what else could the man want? But of course Sebastian wanted to taste every ounce of his victory. 

 

Sebastian walked slowly to the bed; he was like a hunter who spotted his prey and decided it was time to cage it. He stopped only when he was right in front of Azazel, and a corner of his lips raised when he noticed Azazel going so tense the other mutant was sure he was going to use his power to flee.

 

Sebastian was silent, simply looking at Azazel, savouring the sweet moment in which he knew one of the most dangerous creatures in the world was going to surrender and lose everything he fought for all his life, deny what happened to him.

He took a sip from his glass. The amber and cooled liquid caressing his lips before slowly slipping on his tongue. It was almost like he was making love with the liquid. He kept his eyes on Azazel.

 

The leader of the Hellfire club put the glass on Azazel’s lips, letting the liquor slowly cover the sour taste of defeat, a small concession for which Azazel knew was going to pay dearly. He made Azazel drink from the spot where his lips sipped the drink, forcing the other one to taste a little bit of him, and that was only the beginning. 

 

Sebastian let his fingers slip in Azazel’s locks, the textures was nothing like he had ever felt. It was like velvet and silk, and the man found that extremely sensual and erotic. He kept caressing Azazel’s scalp and hair almost absently while his mind was lost in what he was going to do to him.

 

When he took the glass from Azazel’s red lips he grabbed his hair, forcing his head to bend and slowly, very slowly Sebastian bent down until his lips were brushing Azazel’s; it could have been a kiss but a cold smirk formed on them.

 

“I want your lips around my cock, Azazel, I want to feel how well he taught you.” 

 

Azazel closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed a few times, trying to gain back his control. Nothing had happened yet, and he couldn’t lose it so soon. He knew the night was going to be a long one, and his torture was possibly going to last until the end of the mission, so it was definitively too early for that.

 

It was so long since the last time he had been so vulnerable and open, at the mercy of another man, but never in his life he found himself in that position for something as important as Janos. He fought for his life, he had to endure unspeakable horrors, but never had had a reason as bright and beautiful to survive  - until Janos provided that reason.

When he opened his eyes again, stronger with the knowledge that in the end he was going to have his prize in his arms, always safe and protected, Azazel saw his hands were shaking and he locked them in fists before opening them up again and slowly unfastening Sebastian’s belt. He let Shaw’s robe slip down his slim body, showing his already half hard cock.

 

“Make me feel good.”

 

Azazel’s mouth closed around the head of his cock, and Sebastian couldn’t prevent the loud moan that escaped his mouth. His mouth dropped open when Azazel sucked him harder, and his mind went to the moment long lost in time when Azazel first learned to give pleasure with his mouth. Suddenly something clicked in his mind, and Sebastian could see everything about that first lesson. Emma connected their minds and suddenly Sebastian was inside Azazel’s mind. Azazel lost every possibility to hide his deeper secrets from the other man.

 

All he wanted was to let go, to come into that mouth already, while in front of his eyes he could see a man, cold and cruel, forcing a child on his knees and abusing his too-small mouth, forcing it open until his jaw was aching, and the tears were making him blind.

 

Sebastian could feel the child’s throat spasming, his fear and confusion, and the man’s hate for the new race he was abusing, the power he thought he was showing taking advantage of a child. He wanted to come so bad, but it still was too soon. He wanted to enjoy more of that skilled and wet hole.

 

Azazel’s mouth and throat worked him hard, leaving Sebastian a shaking and needy mess. It was taking every ounce of his willpower to hold back his orgasm while Azazel was sucking him so good and fast and in the same time a so much smaller Azazel was giving pleasure to his first client and owner; and the other mutant seemed to be totally unaware of his struggle.

 

But there would be time to make him pay for that, Sebastian knew well, like he knew Azazel was doing everything in his power to take him over the edge. Maybe it was too long since the last time he had had a master, but Sebastian was ready to change that and show him that even after all this time Azazel was still just a whore.

 

“ _Make me come now, you useless little  whore.”/_ “Make me come, Azazel, now.”

 

Azazel followed the two orders even if he didn’t know what was happening inside his mind - or maybe he knew and he was trying not to think about that.

 

He sucked even harder, hollowing his cheeks, using just a little taste of his teeth, letting Sebastian’s cock slip into his throat, letting it fuck him so hard and deep he was sure his voice was going to be taken and his taste was going to be branded into his brain and body too.

 

Sebastian couldn’t last longer even if he wanted. He let go with a groan shooting hard into Azazel’s mouth, and for a moment he was almost sure that with his seed he had lost his brain too. A cruel smile formed on his lips.

Azazel hadn’t been that good in his first attempt at pleasuring a man, but years of hard learned lessons were giving their fruits, and he was going to enjoy every last one of them.  

 

°°°

Azazel wanted to cough and throw up, he wanted to run and hide and get rid of the taste in his mouth, that taste that alone was able to throw him back to when he was just a child and was first found.

 

_He was hungry, hungry and scared. He had ran from home days ago, after his own father tried to stab him when he was asleep._

_He still remembered the smell of alcohol and the hate he read into his eyes. He had flown as fast as he could, with the cries of his mother in his ears, knowing that she too hated him because of his looks, but at least she didn’t want him dead._

 

_The village was small, like the one where he was born, maybe if he was careful enough he could hope to find something to eat, an egg or two, nothing big, and disappear before someone could see him and scream in terror, alarming everyone that a demon was in the village._

 

_But the little boy didn’t see a man working in a potato field. He didn’t see his eyes grow huge, and when the man started to scream with all the air in his lungs he really tried to run again, but he was too weak and too scared. His little feet stumbled on a root, and he fell to the ground, but didn’t even have the time to register the pain when dozens of hands grabbed him, and angry faces were shouting at shim._

_He was so terrified he thought he was going to lose his mind when he felt the smell of smoke and burning wood, and he knew they were going to burn the demon. He was going to die because his body wasn’t normal, and he was different._

 

_When his flesh was already starting to feel the fire to lick him a man spoke. His accent was strange, like he was from a big city and not a small village. He took the demon-looking child, and even paid to have him._

 

_But soon that child learned that his hell had yet to begin. He was seven, and he was going to become a whore._

 

_The man who saved him was the owner of a very particular club. A brothel where people like the strange-looking boy were sold for the pleasure of men with the need to abuse and hurt and destroy those whom they didn’t even think were human._

 

_And sadly, that little boy was one of the most sought-after whores in the whole brothel. And his owner always the first and last client of his days. The one who taught him the meaning of real pain and disgust toward himself. Every time that that man touched him, every time he raped him and did to his body things that  no human mind should be able to think about, that little boy swore to never let another man own him. He swore that once he was strong enough to get free no one else would tie him to a bed and use his body for days, humiliating him in the worst possible ways._

 

And now that boy was back.

 

Azazel could feel the walls he had spent years building fast starting to collapse. He knew he didn’t have any possibility to escape. Azazel had felt Emma’s mind invading his own, he had felt her presence, and finally he understood what the whole plan was about.

She had opened doors that were meant to be locked forever inside the darkest corners of Azazel’s mind, and let Sebastian free access to everything he tried to forget.  

 

“You are so good, my whore.”

 

Azazel froze. In his mind Sebastian’s voice melted with his former owner’s, and it was like both of them were in that room, torturing him all over again.

 

“But we still have yet to begin.”

 

Sebastian’s voice was like acid on his heart and soul, and when his hands pushed Azazel’s shoulder hard enough to force him to lay down and then grabbed his wrists tying them to the headboard with chains that Azazel didn’t even see first it was like his chest was being opened by ruthless claws and his heart ripped from him.

And when he was sure he was going to break his words and stop Sebastian in every way his ears got suddenly full of Janos’s scream of sorrow and agony.

 

°°° 

 

Moscow was silent. A huge city totally asleep because the regime didn’t allow anything else. Janos was asleep in his bed. The hotel was luxurious, for Russian standards, clearly used to impress important guests, but that didn’t help Janos at all. He spent hours trying to fall asleep, thinking about Azazel, about how much he loved the other mutant, about the words he was going to use, once back home, to tell him the truth.

 

And all the time his thoughts slipped on Sebastian, trying to understand why he was really there, why their leader demanded for Azazel to stay back. He didn’t trust his explanation, he stopped trusting the man a long time ago, if he ever did in the fist place. The thought that something was up was eating Janos’s mind, and the young Latino couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he had been fooled.

He didn’t know how long he was able to sleep, but knew exactly what woke him up. His own scream, the same scream that probably woke everyone else in the hotel and in the whole city.

Something terrible was happening to Azazel, and Janos didn’t have any way to reach for him.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, heavy non-con. Please don't read if it's not your cup of tea. 
> 
> Happy New Year to everyone

VII

 

Emma almost jumped onto her bed when Janos’s scream resonated through the empty corridors to her room. Before she could call her shield, a gust of wind threw her against the nearest wall.

 

Janos was standing in the doorway, his eyes the same color of the storms he could master, his body tense and ready to attack. Emma never saw him more beautiful and dangerous before, and again she failed to call her shield.

 

She knew she had to do something to protect herself from the younger man’s fury, and the only thing she could think about was to invade his mind. But what she found there almost made her regret her decision.

 

Janos’s mind was usually a quiet place to be. His thoughts were always calm, like the man who owned them. Only during a battle did Emma read rage inside his mind, but never fury. Never the same dark cloak that blinded Sebastian and Azazel, making them into the terrible weapons they were while they fought.

 

But in that moment, motionless in the doorway, with the storm ready to hit at Janos’s command, all that Emma could read was pure and simple fury. Entering Janos’s mind was like walking barefoot between broken glass, and Emma had to bite her lips to keep herself from screaming in pain.

Never before, in all her life, had she felt so much pain, not even when she was forced to join her mind with Sebastian’s.

 

Janos’s thoughts were so sharp Emma was sure she was going to bleed soon. It was like they could stab her own mind like the blades Azazel was so fond of. And suddenly she knew. She knew that Janos understood what was happening. He knew that his mate was in pain. But she couldn’t understand how he was able to know.

 

“How…”

 

“Tonight, Emma, I’m the one to ask questions. And you, for once, will answer with honesty.”

 

“If I don’t, Riptide, what are you going to do?”

 

She hoped to distracthim long enough to allow her to raise her shield and push him away as a bothering bug. But Janos’s only answer was another gush of wind that slammed her against another wall. This time Emma could feel her ribs crack. She was defenseless without her shield, and he knew that well.

 

“ Then I’ll break every bone in your body and I won’t stop until you’ll be only a pathetic shell screaming alone in a foreign country. Then we’ll see who will save you, Emma.”

 

Emma realized too late that Janos’s love for Azazel was a threat to her life. She realized too late that playing with that, she risked everything, and she was going to lose. The perfect plan she and Sebastian had could end up failing. And too late Emma realized that to love someone is to fight for this person, even against enemies that are stronger than you.

 

She bowed her head in defeat and spoke in a whisper.

“You won, Riptide. Ask me what you want to know, and you’ll have the truth.”

 

Janos knew not to trust her words, so he didn’t stop the storm that was destroying the room, keeping Emma’s mind busy enough to distract her from raising her shield.

 

“It’s not your truth I want, Emma. I just want to know what’s happening to Azazel now. Everything else is between me and the man I love. You and Sebastian don’t have any place in that.”

 

Emma was shocked. She couldn’t believe that Janos was giving away the possibility to know everything about Azazel.

She couldn’t believe the young Latino really wasn’t interested in that kind of information and just wanted to know a little piece of the whole story.

 

Janos didn’t have to be a telepath to see the surprise on Emma’s face; he probably knew what the woman was thinking, and that upset him even more.

 

“You really don’t understand, do you Emma? You think I want every single secret you found in Azazel’s mind, because it’s what you would do. You care about information you can use to get you what you want. But here, we are talking about Azazel’s life. About the one I love. I want him to trust me enough to talk to me about his past. You never loved anyone, Emma. You are unable to love, so you are unable to understand what I want from Azazel. But know this, Emma. I don’t want your secrets; they mean nothing if they aren’t given freely.”

 

Emma didn’t know what to answer. She never thought that Janos was anything more than a young mutant with a beautiful body and a pretty face. She never thought he could have a brain too, and above, all a heart. And now she was cornered by her own blindness.

 

The only thing the woman could do was to tell Janos what the young man wanted to know, and wonder if she always got it wrong, about everything in life.

 

°°°

 

Azazel was suddenly defeated. Janos’s scream was still ringing into his ears when Sebastian took advantage of the situation and finished tying Azazel .

 

“I promise you, Azazel, that this is going to hurt you like never before. I promise you that you’ll beg me to kill you like you never did.”

 

Azazel couldn’t focus on Sebastian’s voice, on his promises to destroy him once more. The only thing he could think about was Janos.

What was wrong with his lover? What happened to him? Was he safe? Was he alive? He had no answer for any of those questions, , at least not any time soon.

 

But when Sebastian’s hands begun to run all over his body, violating him once more, and his hardness was clear to the demon-like mutant every thought was lost into his mind because Azazel was no more.,Only the little hopeless boy remained.

Azazel groaned, nausea flooding into his stomach, and he could taste bile rising in his throat. Sebastian was hard already, cock jutting out large from the nest of chestnut curls, and Azazel could feel the wetness on it, not even sure if it was because of some lotion or because of the precum already leaking from him, and that thought alone make him shudder.

“You are mine, Azazel, and you’ll submit to me tonight. But whatever you’ll do, remember, it depends on me how painful it will be. And I promised you hell.”

Sebastian laid down on his body, and Azazel felt like he was going to be crushed by him and by the weight of his memories. Sebastian pushed Azazel’s thighs roughly apart, exposing him, and as Sebastian used his hand to spread his cheeks, Azazel realized that there would no be preparation for him, exactly like his first time.

“ _Sir… please” the child begged, unable to keep the panic from his voice._

“ _You are made for pain, little whore, and you will get it.”_

Azazel tried to clear his mind, to remember he wasn’t a child anymore. But that door was wide open now. All his memories, all his pain were in the bed with him. And once again the man towering over his body meant only pain and humiliation.

Sebastian grabbed Azazel’s hips roughly, and without preparation he pushed his cock past the tight and resisting ring of muscles to press into Azazel’s heat. He was careful, slid in slowly, but only for his own comfort, giving none to the man under him.

Azazel couldn’t choke the cry from deep inside his throat. It was like back there, the pain, his body betraying him, breaking under the assault of a man. His soul shuddering all over again. And once again his body hurt him. He couldn’t stop from trying to pushing out the invasion, the tender flesh of his inside breaking for that action, letting his own blood being the only lube he got that night.

“ _You can fight as much as you want little whore. You are mine to do what I want. Your body belongs to me now.”_

_His master’s voice, broken from disgusting pleasure, rang into the child’s ears making him scream in agony and self hate._

The feeling of a man, too big for a child’s body, tearing him apart, destroying his soul and not only his body wasn’t the only thing Azazel could remember of his first time. Even now, after so long, he could still remember everything that man did to him. He could remember every place his fingers touched him. Every inch of his body his lips touched and marked. He could remember every wound of his fingernails and knives. Every drop of his blood licked and sucked from him.

“You are so tight, Azazel.”

“ _You are so tight, my whore”_

Once again past and present melted in Azazel’s mind, driving him a step close to madness. And Azazel prayed that madness would envelope him and take him away from everything. But he wasn’t a coward, Azazel knew that that time he had something to fight for, so he banished that thought from his mind as soon as it formed. For Janos. Everything was for Janos that night and he grabbed at that thought with all his force, knowing well that it was his only salvation.

Sebastian moved, the smirk still on his lips, pulling a sob from Azazel as he twirled his hips forcefully to widen the hole before he pulled out almost totally only to thrust back inside, and this time the sob was a full formed scream.

“ _No one will ever want you again, when I’ll finish with you. No one wants a dirty whore. No one will ever love you. You are mine. Only mine.”_

“You… are mine, Azazel.”

Every time Sebastian moved inside and out of his body, he hissed his words into Azazel’s ears. And slowly his mind started to betray him like his broken body already did. Only Janos’s gentle smile, branded into his memory since the first time they met, kept Azazel from believing those words.

 

°°°

Sebastian came with a loud groan, shuddering as he spilled his seed into Azazel, staying unmoving, as deep as possible, until he was totally spent, enjoying the view of Azazel, broken and lost as the child he was a long time ago.

He had felt his first abuser, he was him, one and the same with the man who enslaved a child the sedate his perversion into his body. He had felt his pleasure and lived it. And still in the same time he lived the pleasure of the first man taking Azazel, the warrior, after the horror of his past. The first man ever allowed to place a finger on him.

He collapsed on Azazel’s exhausted body, and felt powerful like never before. His ugly smirk blossomed in a real smile, thinking about the time he still had with Azazel.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We see Azazel's past, please id this is a trigger for you, don't read

VIII

  
  


Janos felt sick. He wanted to scream and destroy something. He wanted blood all over his hands like never before.

Listening to Emma while she talked about her part in Sebastian’s plan, hearing how easy was for her to forget every trace of humanity, how easy was for the woman he once followed hoping for a better life talking like Azazel was nothing more than an annoying bug she had to endure in order to keep her lover close, made the young Latino wanted to use his power to dismember her body and scatter it all over the room.

 

But in the end what was left in his heart, after the rage and fury and the blood lust went, was sadness.

Sadness for someone who couldn’t love, as Emma would never know the real beauty of caring for someone else and find your own strength in that.

 

Emma was a broken soul, damaged beyond repair., and even if he pitied her, Janos couldn’t stop himself from wanting her dead. But first he had to think about Azazel’s safety, and for that he needed Emma.

 

°°°

 

The woman knew the exact moment when Janos decided to spare her life. Breathing through a storm was hard enough, and talking to save her own life was even harder.

She really thought that Janos was going to unleash his full power on her, and without her shield she knew she didn’t have a single chance against him.

 

But Janos wasn’t stupid, and Emma swore to herself to never underestimate him again. He knew he needed her alive to save Azazel, but he also knew she was reading his mind looking for the only thing she wanted; to know what the younger mutant was going to do once he got Azazel back and safe.

 

“I can help you. I can give him back to you and only you. I can take back those memories and be sure that he’ll never remember his time with Sebastian.”

 

Emma was sure Janos wasn’t going to refuse, and she also was sure she found the way to get free from his power, but again, she miscalculated.

 

Janos’s rage was palpable touchable, and his power hit the woman again, and this time she couldn’t bite back a scream when at least one of her bones broke.

 

“Everything’s so simple for you, right Emma? You enter the sacred intimacy of the mind, and take what you want, leaving only ruins behind, giving nothing for that pain you cause. Do you really think that after what you did stealing his memory is a way to solve the problem?”

Emma didn’t know what to answer. She simply wasn’t able to understand Janos’s rage.

 

“You don’t want him to forget?”

 

She didn’t understand the younger man. She really thought she got him, and again Janos surprised and confused her.

 

“He was robbed of everything. He lost his freedom and they tried to take his soul too. And now, you are here, looking for my approval and ready to do the same. Ready to take away his voice and his freedom to choose what he wants to remember and what he wants to forget. You are no better than the people who enslaved him Miss Frost.”

 

The woman was shocked. She was many things, but never had been compared to a childr abuser, and that hit her hard.

For the first time in years Emma Frost experienced feelings, and she didn’t like that at all.

 

°°°

 

She wanted revenge. She wanted to use her power like Janos did and gain back her power, reaffirm her place in the Hellfire Club, so when the younger man turned his back to leave the room, she was ready to strike.

 

She was fast and elegant like a snake. In the span of a moment her body was covered in diamonds, and her mind was finding its way into Janos’s thoughts.

But she overestimated herself. She was still using her power to assure Sebastian’s access to Azazel’s deepest secrets, and she wasn’t ready for Janos’s mind.

 

She couldn’t believe when the pain hit her like a raging fire. It was like Janos’s power was rooted inside his own mind, defending it from her attack.

He was waiting for her and he was fighting her like no one ever did before.

 

Even with her shield she was unprepared for the walls that Janos was building. When she was close enough to destroy one of them, another one was already there, replacing the one that fell, and after a few minutes, she had to give up.

 

“Just because I need you alive, it doesn’t mean you have any power over me, Miss Frost.”

 

The silence of Moscow was the only companion Emma Frost got that night, while her mind and body were both silent and broken, and she realised how deeply alone she really was.

 

°°°

 

Azazel was lost in an ocean of pain and self loathing. His mind was his worst enemy and he didn’t know how to fight it.

He wasn’t even sure he wanted to fight; all he wanted was to give up and forget everything.

 

Memories of his past and present mixed together and teamed up against him. In the delirium of his mind, faces he had forgotten a long time ago melted together to leave only one visible one. It belonged to Sebastian, and the only light in the darkness was Janos’s smile.

But he was fading.

 

Suddenly Azazel found he couldn’t move. He was chained to a wall, in a room full of men he sadly knew all too well. Janos was there too and was looking at him with disgust and hate in his usually warm eyes.

 

The older mutant realised with terror that Janos saw what Azazel really was, and his gentle mind couldn’t handle the truth. He couldn’t handle the thought of sleeping with someone as dirty as Azazel always knew he really was. No matter how much he tried to deny and forget his past, Janos deserved the truth, and it was clear that truth disgusted him.

 

Azazel saw Janos walk away, saw his back slowly turning while the hate in his brown eyes was so deep Azazel thought it was going to cut his heart more than his blades ever did with an enemy. Azazel tried to call him back, he was ready to beg him, to beg for forgiveness, for a chance to prove to Janos that he was more than a dirty whore, but his voice was covered by the laughter of the other men present.; While they moved closer ,their laughter was covered only by the noises of opening zippers, and Janos disappeared from the room., Azazel was left alone in his hell all over again.

 

°°°

 

Azazel woke up screaming Janos’s name while a cold touch kissed his chest. For a moment the mutant didn’t know where he was and that shot him with fear.

But when he tried to move and realised all over again that he couldn’t move, he remembered Sebastian’s cold smile.

 

“Welcome back, Azazel.”

 

Sebastian’s voice was like poison dripping into his wounds, burning his soul and heart, and for a moment Azazel felt the need to close his eyes again and find solace in the hell of his past. But before he could do just that he felt again the cold kiss of a blade and realised that Sebastian was almost laying on his body, and he had one of Azazel’s blades in his right hand.

 

For a moment the older mutant wondered what that meant to do, but he didn’t have time to voice his question before he felt the blade slowly start to re-open one of the oldest scars he was wearing on his chest.

 

Azazel remembered all too well how he got that first scar, even if his brain was screaming for him to keep Sebastian away from that memory, and away from his body. But for both it was too late.

 

_Azazel was laying in a corner, the only place in the room where he felt safe enough to let his broken body rest at least for a bit._

_He was still filthy, with things he didn’t want to name from the last client. Azazel’s only way of knowing if it was night or day was through his clients._

 

_The first one in the morning was always his Master, then a series of unknown men, everyone with his perversion and ready to destroy a little bit more of his soul, body and mind. Then again his Master, with some bread and water, things he had to pay dearly to get and that were his only daily meal._

_Then he was forced to serve his Master again before being left alone in his handmade nest, a place that was dirty and uncomfortable, but it still was the only thing he could call his own and the only place that all his clients always left alone._

 

_Heavy steps coming close made the young boy jump out of his own skin. It was so unusual to have someone entering that room after his Master left, and he was pretty sure that it wasn’t morning yet even if he knew those steps belonged to his Master._

 

_He didn’t have time to prepare himself for whatever was going to happen, because the man who was looking at him with cold and empty eyes was totally drunk, and Azazel learned the hard way that his Master always got a bad temper while drunk. And he loved to hurt his pet even more than usual in that state._

 

_He felt his body lifted up and thrown into the bed he hated so much and once again the weight of his Master pinning him down, making every breath almost impossible. When his mind was already screaming at him to simply relax and wait for the pain, not to fight back this time, something else happened._

 

_Another kind of pain hit his body followed by the feeling of warm liquid staining his strange skin. It was the first time that someone cut Azazel’s skin._

_The blade that his Master was holding was sharp and cold, but soon Azazel’s own blood begun to warm it._

 

_The seconds passed slowly while Azazel could feel his flesh opening, the blade sinking in the tender material, and the blood running to kiss it like a lover, making the blade as red as Azazel’s skin._

_But what sickened the boy even more than the cut itself was the tongue that started to lap at his blood, and the lustful moaning of the man above him who was thrusting his tongue deep into the cut, sucking and licking like he was tasting the best treat of his life, a rare dessert that only Azazel could provide._

 

_When the young boy thought he was going to pass out once again his Master showed him that human perversion had no limits._

_Nothing is taboo when a man wants to reach his own pleasure, no matter what he’s doing to the other person in his bed._

_He was taught well that men are selfish in their pleasure. They always put it first, above everything else, no matter what price someone else has to pay for that._

 

_The blade was already cold again, even if still stained with Azazel’s blood, when he hit his flesh for the last time that night. But Azazel couldn’t know that yet. He could only scream and scream while the blade was creating it s own path inside his body, tearing him apart like no other of his clients ever was able to do, even if he had been torn more times that he cared to remember._

 

_His Master was laughing, so hard again even after covering Azazel’s body in his cum simply licking the boy’s blood._

_He was rock hard because of the pain he was inflicting on his young victim, because of the warm blood that was flowing all over his fingers, rock hard because he was thinking already about that blood coating his own member while he entered Azazel’s body again and again._

_So hard that he almost risked spilling himself over Azazel once again when all he wanted was to fuck that small body and claim it once again. And that was exactly what he did after his blade found his way into Azazel to its hilt and was taken back with force, hurting the boy more than human mind could think possible._

 

_This time all Azazel could give to the man was a silent scream, like his voice was lost somewhere and the pain too much to handle._

_He wanted to be sick when his Master’s mouth covered his while his body was fully inside Azazel’s smaller one and he started to move like he was going to breed an animal._

 

_That mouth tasted like cheep vodka, and blood, and dark lust and everything Azazel really wanted right now was to die, because no one could survive so much pain and humiliation and get free without losing something, and everything Azazel had to give in exchange for freedom was his life._

 

When a warm hand touched his face Azazel was bought back from his past, and like the child he was he hoped that his life could end right now, because Sebastian’s eyes were the same of the man who owned him a long time ago. And this time Azazel wasn’t sure he was able to survive.

 

“We are going to have fun, Azazel. So much fun…”

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into Azazel's past. It's not nice, but at least Janos is there.

IX

 

 

Janos’s mind was far away during the whole meeting and Emma could tell that only the Latino’s body was present.

The woman tried hard to read his thoughts, but it looked like she was unable to pass through the walls the younger mutant had placed around himself since the night before.

 

Emma desperately wanted to know what the younger man was thinking, what was inside his mind, and for the first time she hoped to have Sebastian by her side. She was now worried that her power wasn’t enough to save herself and what she had to believe in order to survive in a world that was so cruel with her race.

 

But at the same time she knew that Sebastian would have only punish her if he knew of her stupid and childish need for a protector.

Her lover and leader had given her a task. And the man in front of her was that task.

 

He was old, and he thought he had power only because the uniform he was wearing and the secrets he knew about the possible war between Russia and America.

He knew the names of Russian spies close to the Congressmen and high rankingmilitary men, stupid enough to believe that beautiful young girls could fall in love with them because they were great in bed.

 

The same man who was trying to seduce her while talking about a nuclear war giving her and Janos just a few hints of what he really knew, thinking he was able to play with them both. But even when the man was caressing her thigh with slimy fingers, believing he was close to taking her to his bed, Emma couldn’t shake the feeling that something big was going on under her nose, and for the first time in a very long time she couldn’t figure out what it was.

 

When Emma got the information she needed, the man was left fast asleep in his hotel room. While his mind was full of pleasurable dreams about a beautiful woman ready to do everything he could demand, that woman was already back in a luxurious and cold hotel with the most intriguing mind she had met in her life.

 

°°°

 

“Send me to him.”

 

Emma almost jumped on the fluffy velvet armchair she was occupying. She didn’t hear Janos until the younger man was behind her.

 

“To who?”

 

The blond mutant knew the answer, but she needed to gain time to find out how deep and real that request was.

 

“You know the answer, Emma. And you know I don’t have time to waste playing your games. You could open Azazel’s mind to someone he never allowed there. I presume you can do the same with me.”

 

 

“We are too distant, Janos. I’m flattered that you think my powers can reach his mind so far away, but the truth is that I can’t.”

 

Janos stayed still, looking inside her eyes like he was reaching for a soul that wasn’t there anymore and it was when Emma thought that finally she could read his mind again that she found a bond she never saw before in her life.

 

All the colour drained from Emma’s face when she realised what she was looking at. Janos and Azazel were already sharing a bond.

A bond no one forced on them, a bond that simply formed between their souls and their minds. Something that no human being could hope to copy.

 

“I don’t care how, Emma but you’ll find a way to send my mind to him. I don’t even care if you’ll need all your energy to do that, but he won’t be alone a moment more, if you care to come back to Sebastian in one piece.”

 

A plan was forming in Emma’s mind. She had to take back control over him. She didn’t need to let Janos know about the bond.

He already was close to being an enemy, so showing him force - even when was a faked demonstration - was something that could discourage the young Latino.

 

“You are a fool, Janos, but I admire your tongue as others would admire your body. I will give you what you just asked, but know this. You are going to scream and cry and curse the moment you asked me to join Azazel. But no matter what you’ll do and how you’ll beg, you’ll stay with him until morning.”

 

Janos didn’t care how hurtful or even painful going to Azazel could be for him. He simply needed to be with him, to make him feel and understand that he wasn’t alone, that Janos was working on a way to save him.

 

“Do it Emma. I don’t care for anything else. Just do it.”

 

 

°°°

 

_Janos woke up in a cold and dark place and for a moment he couldn’t remember where he was. The Latino was sure he closed his eyes in his room, in a Russian hotel, while his own power was protecting his body, because he knew he couldn’t trust Emma, and here he was now._

 

_The room looked like a basement or a cell and Janos needed time to let his eyes to adjust enough to the darkness to at least try to see something._

_But when he did, the young mutant regretted that._

 

_In a far corner, covered in rugs and nothing more, was a body curled up in a ball, shivering because of the cold. There was blood in a pool at his feet, and Janos suddenly knew that the child was hurt but he couldn’t find in himself the strength to move. He was frozen in the place where he woke up even if his mind was screaming to him to get up and go to the child, protecting him from his own mind._

_Because Janos knew that child. His red skin and long tail were enough to show that this was a very young, and totally terrified Azazel._

 

_When Janos found the courage to finally move to the child he felt bile rising in his mouth and a rage he never felt in all his life._

_The child was covered in cuts and burns and scars that screamed what his body already suffered in his young age._

 

_Janos knew he should keep his feelings in check. Azazel was already scared enough, and he knew his too young mind wouldn’t have realised he was mad at who hurt him, and not at Azazel himself, but it was the hardest thing Janos ever had to do._

 

_When he was close enough to the child he tried to talk to him, but only when he said his name Azazel looked at him, and Janos remembered about the linguistic barrier that he already faced when they met for the first time. He still didn’t know enough Russian to keep a whole conversation going, but he was ready to try._

 

_°°°_

 

_Azazel was looking at the man who woke him up. He wasn’t sure he remembered him as one of his clients; he even was pretty sure that a man dressed in a suit had never bought him. Maybe he was a new client; it was strange for his Master to sell him after his last visit of the day, but the man was always changing his mind and mood._

 

_The new client was talking to him in a language Azazel couldn’t understand, but he knew his name, and that was all the validation he needed to understand he really was a new client._

 

_Azazel moved slowly towards him, looking at the floor, never in the man’s eyes, like he was taught. He came as close as he needed to be to put his hands on the belt buckle, starting to work to open it. The man didn’t look like a cruel one, but Azazel learned in the hardest way to never judge a client by his looks._

 

_After all if the man was in his prison, he couldn’t be a good one, he was pretty sure no grown up man had the right to be with a child, but he never spoke his thoughts aloud. He didn’t want other scars on his body if he could help that._

 

_And then something new happened to Azazel. For the first time since he could remember, the man with him, his client, stopped him. In the beginning he thought he did something wrong because the man still had his wrists in his hands, and he afraid he was going to shatter his bones. It had already happened once or twice, and it hurt so much Azazel could still remember the pain. But the man wasn’t squeezing his wrists - he simply was holding them, almost in a tender way._

 

_The man’s thumbs were slowly caressing his skin, and he didn’t look disgusted by the strange colour of it. His client almost looked fascinated by it._

 

_Azazel’s eyes grew impossibly huge when the man shook his head in denial. He was still talking to him, in a soothing way, even if the boy didn’t know what the man was saying. Sometimes he was able to catch a few words in Russian, words that spoke of love and the boy desperately wanted to believe that he could be loved too._

_No matter how filthy and used he was, no matter how terrible his looks and horrific his body, he desperately needed to believe that he could have a little bit of the love that strange man was talking about._

 

_°°°_

 

_Janos felt the boy slowly fall asleep in his arms while he still was talking to him in a mix of languages. He knew well Azazel wasn’t able to understand, but every one of his words were of love, and adoration, and safety, and he was sure that into his heart and soul, Azazel too knew that. And when the boy in his arms was asleep, and without nightmares for the first time since he was enslaved, Janos felt his body heavy and knew he too was falling asleep._

 

_The Latino tried hard to fight the unnatural sleep; he didn’t want to leave the boy Azazel alone, but he knew that he couldn’t win this battle._

 

_°°°_

 

_When Janos woke up, he immediately realised he was still in Azazel’s mind, but in a different place. Not longer were the walls of a cell caging him; he was now in what looked like a post- apocalyptic world, full of ruins and desolation._

 

_In the middle of all that destruction was a man. He was standing but his shoulders were turned down, like he was trying to protect himself but was too proud to curl up in a ball._

 

_Janos knew that man and slowly began to walk towards him. The younger man wanted to call him but his voice was frozen in his throat while his dark eyes looked at the destruction and ruins around them. Was this really how Azazel, his proud and strong Azazel, thought about himself? Like something ruined and not worth saving?_

 

_Janos wanted to cry and scream and curse everything and everyone once again, but for the second time in that strange journey he restrained his own rage because once again he knew that he was there for Azazel, not for himself._

 

_Only when he was close enough Janos realised that Azazel was looking at something. There was a single flower growing up between the ruins. It was a columbine, with light purple petals. It looked so delicate and fragile, but in the same time strong and resolute, and suddenly Janos saw himself in that tiny flower._

“ _Azazel?”_

 

_His voice sounded small and tentative to Janos’s own ears, so he stopped and waited for Azazel to knowledge his presence. But the older man didn’t turn, he didn’t face him, he simply stayed motionless with his cerulean eyes locked at the tiny flower._

 

“ _Did you see everything?”_

 

_Azazel’s voice sounded tired and defeated. When he accepted Sebastian’s proposition he didn’t realise that Janos was going to find out his secret; he didn’t think about his lover knowing what he really was, what was done to him so long ago and he wasn’t ready to face Janos. He wasn’t ready to see the disgust and pity on his face and in his eyes._

 

_Janos knew that that was the time for truth and truth alone, so he simply answered that question with a single word._

 

“ _Yes.”_

 

_Azazel’s shoulders slumped even more, like another heavy burden had been added to the one he already was carrying._

 

_There were long moments of silence, a silence so different from what they shared in the only place they called home. When after a mission or a whole day making sure that their kind could be finally be safe, they simply shared a comfortable silence and a book or a drink, sat on a couch or on close armchairs._

 

_The silence they were sharing now was full of self- loathing and fear and shame and insecurity. But soon Azazel couldn’t be quiet anymore. Soon enough he felt the need to know when Janos was going to walk out from his mind and from his life to never return._

 

“ _Then why are you here?”_

 

_That was the question Janos was waiting for, but it wasn’t easy to answer. Was it fair? Was it fair to use that moment to show his cards and finally tell Azazel the truth? Was it the right moment to let him know what he was keeping deep inside his heart and soul, like a treasure and a secret?_

_Janos didn’t know, but of a thing he was almost totally certain, that he wasn’t going to have another chance._

 

_Azazel was ready to slip as far away as possible from everyone. He saw that already, in his childhood, when children living on the streets lost every hope, and Janos wasn’t going to let the older man do the same. He wasn’t ready to lose Azazel._

 

“ _Because I want to be.”_

 

_Azazel was shocked by the answer, and by the strong and sure inflection Janos’s voice carried, and he decided, after a small internal dialogue, to finally turn, and face the other._

 

_Janos was looking at him with tenderness and what Azazel could only call love, and that confused him even more. Why was Janos looking at him like he was something precious and not dirty and stained?_

 

“ _Why?”_

 

_He needed to know. He wanted to hear why Janos felt the need to be there, with him, when there was nothing to protect anymore, when his dirty secrets were out and his body was once again used against his will, even if for a good reason this time._

 

“ _Because I love you.”_

 

_Janos’s words hit Azazel with force, overtaking all the walls and shelters the man had built around his heart in the years. But that couldn’t be the truth, because what could see someone like Janos in him?_

 

_Azazel knew all too well what he was. He was a machine created to kill and destroy. A weird looking being that could kill with his own tail. A broken tool with only one saving grace, and that good thing in his life was standing in front of him, telling that he was in love with him._

 

_He never believed in fairy tails and happy endings. He knew all too well never to expect anything from life, because life is only able to take from you, and never give anything back, and now the only thing he ever wanted in his life was there, with him, and Azazel knew he could touch Janos if only he had to courage to raise his hand and take what was offered._

 

_But Azazel was also afraid. Afraid that he was living a dream, and that Janos would be gone as soon as he woke up. Afraid to hear things, afraid to be loved, because no one ever loved him, and Azazel knew how to handle hate, but he was totally oblivious about how to handle love._

 

“ _I… I don’t know how…”_

 

_Janos stepped closer to Azazel, raising his hand without touching him, waiting for Azazel to make the next move, and when his red and callous hand grabbed Janos’s, swearing mentally to never let him go, the younger man talked again._

“ _You don’t have to do anything, love will find its way. I’ve got you, Azazel, and I’ll make sure everything will be ok. I promise… my love.”_

 

_And for the first time in his whole life, Azazel felt safe. He felt he had a home, a place where to go to rest and get back his force, and that place was in the deep and warm eyes of another man, and Azazel couldn’t have been happier for that._

 

_°°°_

 

_Slowly Janos began to fade away. Azazel could see him disappear in front of his eyes. Their time together was over, and if he thought it could have been of any use, Azazel would have begged God himself to let Janos stay, just a little longer._

 

_But their ordeal wasn’t over yet. Now that their souls found their ways to each other, they had to find a way to be back together physically too. And maybe, next time they saw each other, Azazel would have been ready to say it back to Janos._

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Sebastian/Azazel that means more violence, if you don't like it, please don't read. In this chapter Charles/Erik will appear too

X

When he woke up, Janos was heartbroken and in the same time more ready than ever to save Azazel from Sebastian and above all from himself and his self-loathing. 

 

The only question was how? 

 

Janos wasn't stupid. He knew that to reach his goal he needed strong allies, and above all he needed to defeat both Sebastian and Emma once and for all. Then he could work on making Azazel see how worth of love he was. 

 

Janos was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Emma rush in the room where he was drinking tea and trying to eat at least a bite of the dark bread he was served as breakfast. When the younger man looked up from his cup he immediately knew that something was very very wrong. 

 

“We have to stay hidden. Powerful enemies are in the city. They are looking for us, or at least for me and Sebastian.”

 

For a moment Janos wasn't sure he was able to hide a smirk, he really didn't care if she was in danger. 

 

“Who?”

 

The man wasn't even sure why he asked, but the answer he got was what he really was waiting for. 

“You should remember him. The man who attacked us on the yacht. Erik.”

Janos remembered well that night. The mutant was strong, and built to fight and only now Janos could really understand the hate he saw in Erik's eyes. Maybe Erik was the answer to some of his problems. 

“I wonder why that man hates Mr Shaw so much.”  
His mind was projecting scenarios as he was able to create, to distract Emma's power enough to keep her from seeing the truth about his forming plans. 

 

“Nothing you are thinking about is the right answer. Erik was Sebastian's first creation. He's like the son he never had. The perfect one created and not generated. And like every perfect son he's also Sebastian's greatest regret because he turned his back to the man who made him.”

 

A shiver ran long Janos' spine. He didn't need to ask what Emma was talking about, and suddenly he felt sicker, but his mind was made up. He had to find Erik, and try to make a deal with the man.

°°°

Janos spent his day working on the data and files Emma was able to steal from the General she was seducing during their mission.   
The weapons and scientists The Soviets have access to was impressive, and even more impressive was that the US Government was totally oblivious about how many missiles they really got and where they put them. 

His mind was busy with names and faces every time that Emma entered the same room, and she was happy to see him so absorbed by the task he had to perform.   
She hoped that, that meant Janos had stopped to think about Azazel and Sebastian, at least for a bit of time to ensure they would win the war against the human race. 

In truth Janos was simply hiding his real thoughts, burying them under the illusion of work. But Emma really didn't need to know about that. 

It was late night when Emma was finally fast asleep, thanks to the pills Janos had slipped into her drink.   
She never was able to detect the taste mixed with the strong liquor she wasn't used to drinking. Vodka had once tricked him too; in the beginning of his relationship with Azazel, but after awhile he was able to find a way to view it as a weapon and an old friend. 

He had work to do. In any other time he would have been scared that would be the last night of his life, but he had to find this Erik, and convince the man they could work together. He couldn't waste time worrying about himself.  
    

°°°

Erik was pissed. They were blocked in Russia, losing precious time tracking people who might or might not know what Her Doctor was planning. The only positive thing about the mess he was facing right now was to have Charles all to himself. 

They got rid of the CIA and agent MacTaggert that was still unaware that Charles was taken and never going to be a free man again.

“You think so loud you are scaring away my own thoughts, my friend.” 

“Stay away from my mind, Charles.”

Now those word were like a private joke between them. To anyone else it would appear like they were fighting, or that Erik would appear cold and distant. But Charles knew better. 

So many things had changed between them in the small amount of time they'd known each other, but the most important thing was that they had fallen in love so fast, even Charles had problems naming his feelings before he understood them. 

“You know that she never meant anything to me? Right? We are friends, Moira and I. We'll never be anything other than friends.” 

“And does she know that, Charles?”

Erik put down the knife he was cleaning and went to the bed where Charles was sprawled. Erik  could still feel the metal sweetly vibrating for him, calling him to play, but for once he ignored that call. Something he would have never done before he met Charles. 

Charles didn't have time to answer before Erik's lips covered his own, in a possessive and passionate kiss that threatened to steal not only his breath but his very soul as well. Charles was ready to jump his lover and have him naked, buried deep inside him; when his mind sensed an intruder and his senses screamed danger. 

He didn't even have time to tell Erik in words that the abandoned knife flew into the metal bender's hand, and Erik was ready to harm anyone who threatened Charles. 

°°°

Charles was hit by Erik's thoughts before the man was able to stop himself, what he saw in his lovers mind made him feel warm inside, yes Erik was ready to kill anyone who was coming, without even the needing to know why they were there in the first place. However, he wasn't doing it out of revenge or blood-lust, he was ready to take the life of their "guest" to protect Charles himself. And that scared him, no one in almost two decades was so important to Erik for him risk everything to protect them.   

“Please my love, calm your mind.” 

Erik looked at Charles with questions in his eyes. It was unusual for Charles to let go his feelings even if he walked around with his heart on his sleeves, making him an easy target in Erik's mind. And for that the metal bender was even more prone to protect him from everything and everyone who dared to get too close to him, and above all the unknown man who thought it was a good idea to walk to their room. 

“We don't even know if he's an enemy, my love. Promise me you'll let him talk before to try to kill him.”

Erik knew that Charles hated the idea of him killing someone, like the other man didn't know about his past, about the blood already staining his hands.

“It's not the same Erik. You are not the same man you were in Miami. You are not alone anymore.”

If only Erik could be sure of that, if only his kind could accept that, maybe killing Shaw wasn't going to condemn him to lose the only good thing life gifted to him.

 

°°°

Janos knew walking in on the metal-bender and his companion wasn't the best laid plan, but he didn't know how to approach them, he didn't have any time to waste. 

Janos knew there was a good possibility that the man, Erik, was going to kill him even before he could even say a word, but he didn't have anything to lose. It was or now or ever. 

The moment he knocked on the door, trying to appear as little of a menace  as possible, the door was totally torn off its hinges and with a force he never felt before, he was pulled into the room, in front of Erik and another man, who looked almost delicate with his huge eyes and curly hair framing his angelic face. 

It was too late that he realized a cold knife was pushing against the tender flesh of his throat, and that the same force that had forced him into the room was making it impossible for him to move. The light  golden chain he was wearing around his neck, one of the few gifts that Azazel given him. A small cross that reminded him of a God he hadn't prayed to in a long time, was slowly choking him,  Janos tried to swallow and keep his breathing steady. 

“My... Erik, do remember what we talked about?”

Charles wasn't sure if he should call Erik his love in front of a perfect stranger, one he recognized as one of Shaw's men. He saw him that night, in Erik's mind. While the stranger tried to understand who had saved him and why. 

“He's... he's one of them, Charles.”

“I know my love, I recognize him. But please, let him talk. He's here alone. And I think he can help you. He can help us, calm down my love, please.”

Erik was close to panic. His mind was spinning too fast. In front of him was one of Her Doctor's men. He was a menace, something to erase before it was too late, but Charles was begging him not to kill him yet, and for once the need to prove himself worthy Charles's trust. He wanted to prove he was stronger than the need to destroy anything related to the monster who had destroyed his life.   

“He'll tell Her Doctor about you. He's going to sell you to him Charles. You are stronger than the woman he uses as his shield. He'll want you, he'll do terrible things to you. I can't let him touch you.”

Charles couldn't stand his lover anguish for a moment longer. He moved slowly and calmly to where Erik was pinning their guest to the wall, and put a hand on his face, forcing the man to look him in the eyes. A warm smile formed on his lips.

“No one is going to take me from you my love. Shaw won't touch me. And I won't leave you. I promised you Erik, you are not alone anymore.”

°°°

Janos was watched the two men with wide eyes. He could read their bodies, they shared the same connection he shared with Azazel. The love between them was so bright that it almost made him cry in sorrow. 

He wanted that, he wanted the freedom to show his love for the other mutant without fear of being called into Shaw's room again. He wanted the freedom to live his life with his lover, the same way Erik and his partner were. 

It was when he realised how strong that love was, he knew he did the right thing coming to meet with them. 

“ I can give you Sebastian Shaw. But in exchange I need your help .”

 

°°°

 When Azazel opened his eyes all he could feel was pain. His body was screaming in agony and all his mind wanted was to go back to the place where he could see Janos again, and escape from everything else. 

“Look who is awake.”

Sebastian's voice was falsely sweet, and it only made Azazel pray for death. It was like his power drained Azazel's will to survive. Not even his former abusers were able to accomplish when he was still just a child. 

“We are not done yet, Azazel, there's so many things I want to do to you. So many things I want you to remember, when you're be back with Janos. I promise you, I'll ruin you for any other man in this world. Even when you're with you young lover, you'll see only me. I'll own your body and mind like no one else before.”

Azazel could believe Sebastian's words. But he didn't give the monster the pleasure of seeing him break. 

Azazel felt Sebastian's hands all over his body. His body pressed against him, crushing him into the mattress and making it hard to breathe.   
Sebastian's lips were kissing the delicate skin on his prisoner's face, marking him with the tip of his tongue in an intimate way that made Azazel feel disgusted and filled his mouth with bile. 

“I could be cruel and heartless, Azazel. I could thrust into your body without even preparing you. Of course your blood would still be a better lube than anything at all, but that would open up your tears again. Instead I'm going to take my time with you. I'm going to open up your body for me. And when you'll think about our last time together, you'll know that no matter what you say to yourself, you enjoyed it as much as I did. And you'll see how dirty and ruined you really are.” 

Sebastian's voice was broken by lust. His body already hard. Azazel could feel him slowly rubbing against him. If only he was free to move, if he was strong enough to  fight Sebastian. Push his limits and make him snap so that it would only ever be another rape, another painful and dirty experience to lock up with the many others he already survived. 

The simple promise of sexual pleasure with Sebastian was far worse than any physical pain the man could cause. 

Azazel's mind went utterly blank when, using his own blood to ease the way, Sebastian pushed into him once again. This time without stopping his faked affection with kisses and light touches of his tongue on the naked and salted skin he could reach. 

Sebastian only thrust deeper and faster when Azazel weakly tried to push him off his body. His reward for that insubordination was a hard backhand that split his lip and forced his head to the side. But Azazel was glad for that, at least he was no longer watching Sebastian's face twisted with pleasure and sadistic joy. 

Azazel's body shook at the force of Sebastian's thrusts. The man forced Azazel's thighs over his hips, going in deeper and deeper. Taking away every possibility Azazel had to find safety inside his own mind. All he could do was close his eyes and hope against hope that everything would end soon. 

That was so wrong. Before he met Janos, he never thought he would ever let another man take him like that again.   
After the young Latino entered his life, even if he was scared to death to admit it, he sometimes thought about letting Janos touch him in that way.   
It was something he could have given his lover, and once again that choice was taken from him.

And when Sebastian finally came inside his body, his lips twisted in an evil smile, and his eyes closed to savor that moment and make it last as long as possible, he knew now Janos would  never be able to accept that gift.

On that bed, with Sebastian's body over his own, while blood  and semen were staining his body inside and out Azazel was afraid he lost Janos for good. And suddenly he realized how deeply he had lied to himself, thinking in the beginning of that nightmare, he was going to be ok with Janos being free to choose his lover, even if that lover wasn't Azazel himself. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is only about Erik and Charles.   
> In the next, and last one, Azazel and Riptide will be back for their "last" chapter and epilogue.

XI

 

“I don't trust him.”

 

Erik was tense. Even hours later Janos's visit he still was pacing like a caged lion. It seemed that nothing could calm him, not even Charles's presence, in fact, for the first time since Miami, Charles’s presence was making Erik even more nervous, because for the first time after his mother, the metal-bender had someone to love and protect, and last time he tried to do that against Herr Doctor, he failed.

 

“I saw his mind, my love. I saw the man he loves. I saw the truth about him. Janos is not lying to us, my love. He's ready to give us Shaw if we help him to free Azazel. He doesn't want anything to do with Sebastian's plans anymore, he never did in the first place. He was only a lost child when Shaw found him, and he did not know any better than to follow a man who at least promised him no one else was ever going to hurt him because he was different. I think we should trust Janos...”

 

Erik stopped moving and looked at Charles intently. Since the young Latino's visit, Charles was tense, as he never saw him. Like a man keeping a secret too big and too ugly.

 

“What's wrong with you?”

 

Charles learned fast that he couldn't lie to Erik, not if he really wanted the trust of a man who suffered too much and saw too many betrayals. What Charles wanted the most in the world was the be close to Erik, as close as possible, as lovers and friends and companions, so the mind-reader knew exactly what he had to do. That didn't mean it as going to be easy.

 

He already saw Erik's arm. He saw the numbers branding his flesh in a shameful reminder of what happened in the civilized Europe. But he never asked. He never thought to ask Erik what really happened in the camps. What Her Doctor did to the man he loved. Charles only knew about Erik's mother, and only because he saw that heartbreaking scene in the older man's mind while he was trying to help Erik to connect with his powers. And now it was time to know more.

 

“I... I saw something in Janos's mind. Someone told him you are Sebastian's creature...”

 

Those words hit Erik like a physical punch. He couldn't tell Charles the truth about the camps, he couldn't stain his soul with the pain from his past, but what other choice did he get? He knew since the first time he kissed Charles that he couldn't lose the man and the love he was promising, but after the truth was out that wouldn't be his choice anymore. Charles was going to be the one to decide if he could stand the thought to have him, knowing the truth.

 

Erik moved to the bed as a old man carrying too much weight on his shoulders, and sat as close as possible to Charles, but it wasn't enough and Charles seemed to know. He moved his arms around Erik's body, adjusting him like Erik was a doll he could play with, and in the end, when he was satisfied, Erik found himself in Charles arms, with his back against the mind-reader's chest while the younger man was leaning against the headboard. Erik never felt more safe and protected than in Charles arms, with his lover's chin on his shoulder and his soft lips caressing Erik's cheek.

 

“It's ok Erik. You can tell me everything.”

 

Erik could only hope that was the truth. That Charles could take the truth about his past and not hating him for that and for everything he did.

 

He closed his eyes, and for the first time he willingly came back to the camps with his mind and soul if not his body.

 

_The smell was the first thing Erik could remember. It was the same smell of death and hopelessness and despair. The noises were deafening even if no one was talking. Noone of the men and women and children in line had the force to do that anymore. All of them screamed and begged and cried an no one listened. So now, in front of a gate that was like the door of hell itself, they all were silent and resigned. The only things of that wave of humans that were still alive were their eyes._

 

_Those eyes didn't look around, they didn't need to look to know that the men in uniforms were there to take pleasure from their pain. They didn't need to look to know there was hate and fury in those men, and a blind faith in their leader. They didn't need to look to know that them all were ready to die for a man that was ordering their deaths from his safe place in Berlin, and if they had to die, the soldiers were going to take with them the bigger number possible of the men, and women and children they called animals._

_All those eyes were focused on were their families, looking them, loving them without words, counting them to make sure everyone was still there, that no one got lost. That was all those eyes needed to know._

 

_That was all a child not older than twelve needed to know, that his mother was still close, that he didn't lost her in the chaos of that living nightmare. But as soon as his young heart found the reassurance it needed to keep beating, his mother still by his side, that was taken from him._

 

_Two men in uniform came and took her from his side, pushing her in a group formed only by women. When his mother was taken all Erik could think about was to find a way to take her back. That's why when the gates started to close separating them for good, Erik stretched out his arms, in a vain attempt to grab her. Or at least the young boy thought it was in vain, because at some point, the gates begun to bent toward his hands, twisting and creaking, threatening to break free from their hinges to reach for the boy who looked like he was controlling it._

 

_Even the weapons of the men who took Erik's mother begun to answer to the silent call of the boy and in the end was a weapon to stop everything. A weapon used against a scared child who only wanted his mother back. The stock of a rifle used to hit Erik, hard, making him lose consciousness. It looked like when the boy was unconscious, the strange occurrence stopped at once._

 

_If only Erik knew that someone was watching him, in the snow and dirty, left alone while the rain soaked his poor clothes chilling his body to the bones, and making plans for his future, plans of cold and innate cruelty, he probably would have begged a God who abandoned his kind, to die in that day._

 

_Erik met the man who was watching him only days later. Days in which Erik learned the hate of scared people. The rumours of what he did in his first day in the camp preceded him to the barracks. So since the first night he was beaten and kept away from everyone. He tried to claim a small space on a wooden bunk only to be kicked on the floor. He hurt his shoulder and arm, and no one helped him. He slept in a corner, curled up in a tight ball to keep at least a little bit of warmth in his body, and he cried, alone like he never felt before. And swore that no one of the men who hated him so much for something he couldn't even explain, was ever going to see him so powerless ever again._

 

_***_

 

_The man who was waiting for him in the office was well dressed and well fed. It was clear he didn't suffer in the war. The music he was listening to was powerful and it was clear that the man was enjoying himself even if his window showed the roll call plaza, where people were called everyday by a number and where people were killed for the smaller infraction or because the guards were bored._

 

_Erik could read in the man's face he enjoyed that greatly. He wanted to see suffering and pain and sorrow. The boy didn't know how to call a man like the one in front of him, he only could think about monster, but that would have been wrong, because it was the same word people used for him, and Erik knew he wasn't anything like Her Doctor, at least that, at least fr now._

 

_He saw his mom that day. She was taken into the office by two men in uniform, and the hate they had in the eyes was so big that for a moment the boy had the need to avert his gaze. His mother was so different from the last time he saw her. She was too thin and her skin was too pale. They all knew what hunger was, but not even once while they were hiding she had looked so sick._

_Erik wanted to run to her, hug her and tell her that everything was going to be fine in the end, even if he knew that was only a lie._

_His mom smiled at him, a small, tired smile that Erik was going to remember until his last day, and then Herr Doctor spoke._

 

“ _I saw what you can do, Erik. I know you are not like the other boys your age. I know you are different and dangerous. I can help you. I can make sure you'll never hurt anyone with your devil powers. I'm not like the men working here, Erik. You have to understand that it doesn't give me any pleasure hurting you, but I have to, because I need to protect other people from creature like you. I know you are not a bad boy, I'm sure of that, but you are also different, and powerful, and I can't allow you to use those powers to keep chaos and destruction in our beautiful world.”_

 

_The two guards holding his mom moved their hands to their guns as soon as Her Doctor begun to talk. Erik could see they were scared, and angry at him, because he was a lesser creature, and still they feared him. They were hurting his mom too, their grips on her too thin arms hurt her, but she kept smiling to him and him alone, like no one else was in the room with them._

 

“ _You have to control yourself, Erik, and it's my duty to make sure that that will happen.”_

 

_Erik didn't know what to say. He knew he wasn't a threat to anyone. He never hurt anyone, if he was strong enough he would have protected his mom and his family, but he could do nothing for them, so why was Her Doctor so sure he could hurt others? Others hurt him, never the contrary, why he wasn't talking to who hurt him?_

 

“ _Now, Erik, you are going to move this coin” he took a coin from his pocket, it was big, and silver, and he Nazi Eagle and cross was on it. Erik saw that sign so many times that he knew he would have had it in his nightmares all his life long. “And you'll do it before I count to three, or something really bad is going to happen, and it'll be only your fault. Do you understand me, my boy?”_

 

_Erik could only nod, but he was scared. He was scared and his mom was too far away, and the men holding her knew what he did his first day in the camp, and were hurting her only to punish him. And for the first time since he was introduced to Her Doctor he thought that maybe the man was right, maybe he was dangerous and a menace for others._

 

“ _One” Her Doctor voice sounded too loud in the room, and one of the guard smirked and evil smirk looking at Erik. “Two” the other one copied his companion while Erik tried with all his force to make to coin move. A choking fear woke up inside his stomach and soul and he couldn't stop shaking. “Three” now both men where laughing at him. His mom was like and angel between them, whispering his love for the only child she was going t leave in earth. The coin was still unmoving on the desk, and Her Doctor looked at him sadly._

 

“ _Remember my boy, it's all your fault.”_

 

_The shot was deafening, like the terrible noise of his mom hitting the floor, dead. After a moment of perfect silence Erik begun to scream, with all the air he had in his lungs, with all the desperation of a boy alone between enemies, with all the sorrow of a boy who just lost his only reason of life. And while his desperation was showing, the coin finally moved, like it was laughing in his face._

 

_After that day life in the camp was even a deeper hell for Erik. Her Doctor gave orders to the same men that had watched his mom die, to take him to a cell in a part of the camp Erik never saw, and he learned fast what happened in that side of the camp, away from everything else._

 

_There the guards and their guests could sedate their thirst of blood and violence without incur in suspensions and punishments. Every kind of need was sedated; it didn't matter if it was a need for blood and beat a man an inch from death. Torture one with hot irons and knives, or rape a girl no older than fourteen, or breaking every law and rape a boy even younger, there those men could have everything and more in the night._

 

_During the day, that same place Herr Doctor studied new ways to increase the torment of who was unlucky enough to attract his attention or the attention of other guards and hierarch. He experimented and men, and women and even children. Erik's body was already full of scars. His hands tied behind his back, his body blocked on a table, and every possible metal used against him. Blades, bars, everything that could hurt him, destroy his spirit. Always during those days, Herr Doctor had only three words for him. “Use your power.” Always the same words, and always different torture so that his body couldn't get used to them, so that his mind couldn't find a way to escape from all that pain._

 

_And at night his nightmares had different faces. Different hands touching him, different mouths speaking words of hate while their bodies violated him without any consideration. Different men taking pieces of his souls every time that he was forced to lay with them._

 

_That lasted until his desperation, pain, and hate gave him the force to use his powers for the first time. Erik was able to bend the metal to his desires and he was free. Free from the camp, free from his physical nightmares, but what they did to his soul was still there, and was going to be a burden Erik was condemned to carry for eternity._

 

Erik finished his tale, the silence in the room was broken only by his hard breathing, like he was still trying to keep his feeling in check, like he couldn't afford to be weak in that moment. For the first time he let someone into his past, for the first time he showed the scars that his soul was still wearing, and he did that with the man he discovered he loved. He tried hard to fall for Charles, for his eyes always so full of love and comprehension for everything and everyone. He had tried to tell himself that one like Charles, used to live a life made of dreams that can come true, and old books, couldn't love someone like him. He was sure a man like himself could only hurt and stain Charles. However, the young professor found the way to tear down all the walls that Erik built in his life, and now that he had taken permanent residence in his heart. Erik couldn't stand the thought to lose him because of his past, because of how dirty he was. Never in the years he spent hunting Nazi all over the world had he felt as dirty as he felt now.

 

“Please my love, stop it.”

 

Charles's voice was broken and sad, but the younger man wasn't crying, he wasn't pitying him, and Erik thought that that was a small victory at least.

 

“Don't... Stay out...”

 

Erik wasn't even sure about what he wanted anymore, but of one thing he was sure, he still wanted Charles out of his mind, but only to protect him from the horrors that lived there.

 

“I won't break my word to you, my love, but you are thinking so hard, and you are projecting so much pain and sorrow that I can't stop feeling them. Please, come back to me. Stay with me, don't allow those memories to keep you from where you belong.”

 

“And where is that?” Erik really didn't know where he belonged. He had lost everything. His country, his people, his mother, the only thing that kept him going on was the need to defeat Herr Doctor finally. To make him pay for everything he did. Then... he wasn't sure he ever had a plan for his life after that moment, he wasn't sure he had thought to have a life after that. Now, With Charles, and they boys and girls they could find and help, maybe he had a chance to have a life after all, that if Charles was still going to have him by his side and anywhere near the children.

 

“You would stand with me as my friend,” Erik's world begun to crash around him. “And my companion in our survey for other mutants.” that was still something that Erik could do, something that would keep Charles by his side. Erik was ready to settle for that, even if his heart would break every time that he was close to Charles; knowing he couldn't take the younger man in his arms and call him his own. “Above all, as the love of my life,” Charles finished. For a moment Erik wasn't sure he was hearing things right or if his mind was going delusional on him.

 

“What?” He moved in Charles's arms, twisting his body enough that he was able to face the professor and in the same time staying in his arms, it wasn't comfortable, but Erik didn't care about that. He needed to see if Charles was telling the truth, he needed to read it in his eyes, and for once, he envy the other's power. “I love you Erik. I knew you were my other half the moment I touched you in the water. I knew it was going to be hard, because of all the pain you had inside, but I knew that for the first time in my life everything was ok, because I finally had found you. I hoped you could learn to love me back, and I kept telling myself that even if I couldn't have your love I would have been happy with your friendship, even if I was lying to myself. I always loved you, my Erik, since the first moment I saw you. You are the love of my life.”

 

Erik kissed him, hard and deep, exploring his mouth and stealing his breath, he didn't trust himself enough to speak, not now, not with Charles words still lingering in the air, but for sure he could trust himself to put every ounce of his love for the other into his kiss. He never was good with emotions they scared him, but with Charles Erik was sure he was going to learn how to embrace them and speak of them, but for now, the kiss was everything. He was able to show his feelings. Beautiful, strong, idealistic Charles was answering to his kiss with the same passion and love, and for once, everything in Erik's world was finally right.

 

“Ich liebe dichauch.” 

 

***

 

That night, with Erik fast asleep in his arms, and for once not bothered by nightmares and terrors, Charles was laying awake, listening to Erik's heartbeat and breathe, happy that the man he loved was there with him, and that he finally had begun to discover what he kept inside all his life. He was thinking about what Erik told him, about what he had to endure in order to survive, everything in what Erik told him was like a sword entering his heart, slowly and painfully, but what shocked him the most what how the other prisoners reacted to Erik's gift.

 

He could understand them all were scared and the unknown didn't help, but all he could see was a scared little boy who felt on his skin the hate, doubly. Because he was a Jew, he was different from everyone else in that camp. For the first time Charles really understood where Erik's loathing for the human race came from, he couldn't blame his lover, and more, for the first time he could really understand him, and Raven, and their fears. If human race could react like those men did in the camp, what could it do when faced with the possibility that evolution had taken another step, and now there was another race living side by side with humanity itself?

 

“What's wrong? You are thinking so hard you woke me up.”

 

Erik's voice was heavy with sleep, and raspy, and Charles was sure he never heard anything more erotic and sensual. The older man adjusted his body so that he was lying on Charles, covering him and begun to kiss the sensitive skin of his neck.

 

“Tell me. Tell me what is keeping you from sleeping Charles... is because what I told you?” Erik was scared by the answer that Charles could give him, but he had to know.

 

“Yes and no.” Charles tried hard to keep himself from moaning with pleasure while he answered the question. He was sure that Erik wanted a serious conversation, but with what his lips were doing to his neck, he was also sure that his mind wasn't going to keep a serious discussion going on for long.

 

“I now understand why you loathe humans like you do, and understand why you need to take down Shaw on your own. But thing is Erik, that you aren't alone anymore. You don't have to carry that burden alone now. You can share it with me, and with the others too, even if they are just children in your eyes, all of them suffered because of their powers, they can understand you Erik. I can't lose you, not to humans and not to that monster. If you need to go after him Erik, I'll be by your side. I'll be with you. In addition, if you really think that humans are going to hunt us down and try to destroy us, once again I'll be by your side. I'll always try to reason with them first, but I won't let anyone hurting you or the children neither.”

 

“What are you trying to say Charles?”

 

“Only that I'll always be by your side, but I can't lose you Erik, please, don't let your thirst for revenge take you from me. We can defeat Shaw. We can help Janos to get his revenge too, but if that revenge is more important for you than what we can have, please my love, tell me that now.”

 

Charles knew he was being selfish, He knew that it was unfair to ask Erik after what the man just told him, but he needed to know, needed to ready himself.

 

“If you have had asked that question to me only a few weeks ago, I would have said yes, I need you to understand that Charles. I was in love with you, but I was still trying to fight my feelings. I couldn't let go the only reason I was still alive for. And even now, even with you in my arms, a part of me would want to tell you that yes, To kill Shaw is still more important than what we can have. That's the part of me born in that camp. The part of me that wished to end everything so that I'll finally be able to rest. Now that part is not in control, that need is not the stronger one in me. Now I just need to be with you, to create a life with you. So if you ask me now to stop everything and come home with you, I will, even if you'll take from me something that was vital to my surviving for a very long time.” 

 

Charles had tears in his eyes, and many of them were already running on his face. Erik knew that a small movement and he could taste them on his lips, but he stayed still waiting for Charles’s answer.

 

“I won't Erik. I won't take that from you. I will never take things from you without your consent my love. I just ask you to be by your side, I only ask you to be there for you so you'll know you are not alone. And when it'll be the moment, I need to be there so I can be sure that you are ok.”

 

If Erik thought it was possible to love Charles even more, or to fall in love with him all over again, he knew that would have been the right moment. He never felt closer to anyone in his life. He was glad that Charles came his way. He didn't care by who or what, he was just glad.

 

“We'll help Riptide too, Like me he has a very good reason to hate Shaw. Maybe together we can keep ourselves to become monsters while we free the world from a man like him.”

 

The kiss they exchanged was full of everything, and above all the promise for a future together, and that was everything that Charles ever hoped for, and in the same time everything he was afraid to wish.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. Thank you to everyone who read and loved this story. Thank you to everyone who supported me, and above all thank you to my incredible Beta. She's the reason this story saw an ending.

XII

 

Emma Frost was already awake when Janos joined her for breakfast. 

She looked totally oblivion of what happened, and the younger man had to wonder how strong Charles Xavier really was if he could blind her mind so easily. 

 

“You look exhausted Riptide. Have told you...” 

 

Janos sipped his coffee keeping his mind as blank as he could, and finally the woman understood that keeping pushing him wasn't a good idea. She knew what the younger mutant saw in his lover's mind, and he was probably shocked to hell. She remembered all too well the first time she invaded Azazel's mind, and even if she had had her power since she could remember, she had needed days to overcome the shock. 

 

“We are going home today. Mr Shaw called when you were still sleeping, he's very satisfied with what we did.”

 

Janos had to keep himself from cursing. He could bet he was satisfied, but he was sure it wasn't because of the information they got. He kept his mouth in check, all he gave Emma was a sharp nod with his head. 

 

“Azazel should be here in a couple of hours, the time I need to clean the mind of everyone who could have seen us here. You can make your baggage in the meantime.” 

 

Janos had to wonder who really needed two hours to put away a couple of clean suits and shirts, but if Emma wanted him out of her way Riptide was more than happy to be by himself, getting ready to see Azazel again. 

 

*** 

 

Sebastian Shaw was looking at Azazel with his cold eyes, and for once he felt jealous of Emma's power. The demon-like mutant was already wearing his inscrutable mask, and looked like nothing at all happened to him in the last week. Sebastian could only imagine the mealstrom that was in his mind. 

 

“You are going to take Riptide and Emma back home in a couple of hours. And as I promised, he'll never warm my bed again. I am a man of my word, Azazel.” 

 

Azazel only nodded. He didn't trust his voice, not now that he also had to prepare himself to see Riptide again. 

 

*** 

 

Riptide didn't need Emma's power to know that Azazel was close. A cloud of red smoke appeared in the room, and finally Azazel was there. 

The first thing Janos wanted to do was to run to him, to make sure that the man was unharmed, but he knew better than to let his instinct to lead his actions. He had see how Xavier had always been attentive in touching his lover, without ever frightening him. He knew who Erik was, and he couldn't even imagine what it meant to be a child in a Nazi camp. 

 

He looked at Azazel and gently smiled before to slowly move to the place where the teleporter appeared. 

Azazel looked a little lost, not really understanding what was going on, and Riptide really hated that only a week had been enough to change a strong, confident, and proud man so much. 

 

The younger mutant stopped in front of Azazel and raising on the top of his feet he kissed his lover. It was a gentle brush of his lips over Azazel's, nothing heated or passionate, and still it was full of the love he felt for the older man. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

Azazel blinked a couple of time before he realized that wasn't a trick of his mind. He was really with Riptide. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

God, Janos had missed his voice and his thick accent. 

 

“Take us back? I've missed you.” 

 

A life-time ago, even if only a week had passed, Janos would have used the word home, because what Sebastian and Emma had offered had been the only place he had called home in a very long time, but now all he felt for them and their ideals was disgust and hate. 

 

Azazel saw the change in Janos. It was like the younger man had become colder, and full of rage, and for a moment he was worried that what he saw in his mind had broken him. He knew he wasn't going to blame his lover if he decided he didn't want anything else to do with someone as dirty and broken as Azazel felt he was. 

 

Janos knew the older mutant too well. He knew what he was thinking, or he could imagine, and even if Emma was there, and they were still in danger and didn't have much time, he took Azazel's face in his hands and kissed him again, this time with force. 

 

“Time to go.” And like that, in a few seconds they were back on the submarine that Erik hadn't been able to destroy with his power. 

 

*** 

 

“Welcome back my dears. Was your stay in Russia comfortable?” 

 

Sebastian's voice was full of that ironic notes that he used when he was forced to deal with human. He wanted to see if Janos was going to have a reaction, to find out of the younger mutant knew already he was a free man now, and the price that was payed for that freedom. But Janos wasn't the one to answer. Emma had important information, and she had just showed him that Erik, his beautiful Erik, the monster he created in the Camp had been in Russia too. It looked like he got very good in hunting his abusers and his past. He would have had time later to play with Riptide's mind. For now he had business to think about.

 

He disappeared with Emma in his office, leaving Riptide and Azazel alone. The red-skinned mutant was worried. He didn't want to talk, it was too early, and he needed a little bit more time to lock the small child he had been back in the room where he belonged, but he also knew that Janos deserved to know the truth about what he really saw when somehow he had reached for his mind. And if Riptide wanted to talk now he wasn't in the position to deny him, but once again Janos surprised him. 

 

“I'm exhausted, do you want to join me for a nap?”

 

Azazel didn't have any real rest during the week, and the thought of napping was both alluring and terrifying. He really didn't want to risk a nightmare while sharing his bed with Janos; at the same time all he wanted was to hold his younger lover and show to himself that he wasn't broken yet, not more than he had been a week ago. 

 

“Sure. Sounds good to me.” And the smile that Janos gave him was so bright and warm that Azazel realized it was worth the risk of a nightmare. In truth that smile was worth the whole week he had survived and hell itself. 

 

*** 

 

“Do you think the shield you put on Riptide's mind is going to resist?” 

 

Erik was worried. They were going back home, and he had a bad feeling things were going to be worse before they went better.

 

Erik knew that the CIA didn't trust them. They were useful yes, but expandable. They were feared and he learned on his body and soul what scared men could do. And then there was Moira. Her crush on Charles could be another problem for their safety. 

 

“My shield will stay in place Erik. You don't have to worry about that or about Moira. She's not the one I love or want, and she won't be a threat for us or the kids. She's not a mean woman, Erik, she'll probably be hurt because I can't accept her feelings, but she won't try anything to hurt us. I only hope that one day I'll be able to make you see that not every human want us destroyed.” 

 

Erik shook his head. He loved that Charles had still hope, that no one ever destroyed and tore apart his innocence, but he also was worried because all that trust could be used against him. 

 

“I'll believe that only when I'll see that happen. For now I'll keep my thoughts about them.”

 

Charles smiled and stroke Erik's mind with his own. He would never invade the older man's privacy that was only a way they accidently discovered that allowed them to touch and feel close even when there were other people around them. 

 

“ _I love you”_

 

Erik wasn't used to hear those words meant for him, and as always happened when Charles used them he was surprised and shocked before he could answer. 

 

“ _I love you too. Don't forget that. Never. Not even when I'll do something that you can't approve. Don't forget that I love you and that you'll always be my first priority.”_

 

For a few seconds Charles couldn't remember how to breathe. It was like his lover was totally open right now. Charles couldn't feel any of the walls that Erik always had around himself, only Erik's feelings and emotions, the very core of his soul, and he knew well how precious was the gift that Erik was giving him. 

 

He could only smile and nod, because there was a lump on his throat that was blocking his words, and if he tried to talk now, he knew that the tears that were pooling in his eyes would have fallen, and Charles really didn't want to ruin that perfect moment. 

 

The two mutants wished they could stay like that forever. In a peace that they both knew being only possible in their little intimate world. 

But as soon as their military plane landed, Erik and Charles knew something terrible had happened. Moira was there, to take them in a safe place where the kids were waiting for them, that at least what was what she was trying to make them believe. 

 

She was all smiles and gentle words, but Erik had spotted the ten agents around the hangar that were acting like they weren't there for the two mutants, but actually weren't fooling anyone. 

 

“Moira?” Charles' had lost all its natural warmth. He was talking to her like she was a perfect stranger, or an hostile. Instinctively Erik began to call all the metals around them, letting it sing for him. He could feel every molecule quiver in his very core. He was ready so summon everything that could have been used as a weapon if they needed it. 

 

“There had been an accident, Charles. Shaw and other mutants showed at the base. They killed all the agents...”

 

“They kids. Are they safe?”

 

Erik didn't give a damn about the human dead. He knew for sure that two of the most powerful mutants Shaw had in his group where in Russia, and one had been nothing more than a slave for his perverted pleasure. That meant that he had created an army bigger than anyone had imagined, and if that was true the CIA was going to lose more agents that they ever had.

 

“They are safe. They are scared but safe...” Moira's voice was shaking, and Charles knew that this time wasn't because of her irrational fear of Erik. 

 

“What are you trying to keep from us Moira?”

 

Erik moved his body so that now he was between them, shielding Charles behind his back and facing the agent. Whatever she had in mind, she was going to know what really meant to have him as an enemy. He was worried and pissed, and all he could think about was how to take Charles away and keep him safe if the agents tried anything. 

 

“ _Calm your mind my love. We have to find out what really happened.”_

 

Erik tried to calm himself, but he still didn't change his position, he just waited for Moira to tell them the truth.

 

“They didn't want to harm the kids. Actually Shaw wanted for them to join him and his army.” 

 

Erik knew all too well the allure of a man like Shaw could have over kids who had been bullied and abused all their lives because of what and who they were. 

 

“Angel joined them...”

 

The metal bender wasn't surprised. She probably had been the one who suffered the most in the hands of humans. 

Shaw had given her the hope for revenge, and she had taken it without thinking twice about the consequences. 

 

“They destroyed Cerebro...” Erik couldn't even begin to imagine what Charles was feeling now. He knew how much his lover had worked on that machine, and the hope Charles had to make things right for their kind, looking for them before they could have been hurt by human blindness, but he couldn't help a part of him from being glad that Cerebro was destroyed now. At least he wasn't in the CIA hands anymore. 

 

“That's not all Moira. I can feel that even without reading your mind. Why are you trying to hide things from us?”

 

Erik really didn't like the whole situation. If Moira was trying to keep something from someone as strong as Charles things were probably a lot worse that she had let them believe.

 

“Charles... Erik, something happened during the attack. Darwin tried to keep Angel from going. He tried to protect her from herself I think, but Shaw decided to show the kids what would have meant for them to join them, to join the stronger side. He used his power. I don't know how but he let go a wave of pure energy that destroyed everything and killed all the agents. He hit Darwin with all his force... He... he killed Darwin.” 

 

Erik could feel Charles' pain, it almost was strong enough to cover his won self loathing. He hadn't been able to protect the kids. Once again he had failed someone he cared for. And now those kids knew what war really was, and what means to lose one of your own. And hat worse was that Erik knew they had been alone. He knew no one of the humans there had gave a fuck about their pain and confusion, too focused on their own dead to care for the mutants. 

 

“ _My love?”_

 

Charles needed Erik's comfort, he needed to feel his lover close, and Erik knew he needed the same. He needed Charles, so he did the only possible thing. Once again he let go the walls he built in his life, and let Charles into the most intimate part of his soul; immensely glad he wasn't alone anymore. 

 

“Where are the kids now?” Charles' voice was shaking but Moira didn't look like she realized that. Erik was pissed at her blindness, but tried to keep his temper in check, for Charles' sake. 

 

“They are safe. They wanted to come here with us, and after Raven threatened to keep the President's place, and Alex was ready to use his power over the agents that are now in charge of their safety, we only could accept. They are in a car outside the base. They are waiting for you, and we are going to take you to a safer base. We understimated Sebastian Shaw once, and we are not going to make the same mistake again.” 

 

Erik felt Charles going into shock throw the bond they were still sharing. 

 

“ _Charles? Are you OK?”_ Erik knew that something had happened, but couldn't understand what. 

 

“ _They want to imprison us, so they can have weapons to use against Shaw. I won't allow that to happen. I won't let them put you in a cage. I promised that no one else would have ever done that to you again, and I won't let them to touch the kids neither. I'm going to take down their minds now. Can you... can you make sure that when they wake up they won't have any weapons or any way to follow us... even if they don't know where we are going, I don't want to rick anything...”_

 

Erik called to himself all the weapons and every scrap of metal his power could reach, right under the frightened eyes of confused agents and military men. It was almost poetic to watch Erik to use his power, almost magical, and Charles wanted to feel that power used on himself. But for now he had something else to do. 

 

One after the other the agents dropped on the floor, because Charles' power was less spectacular than Erik's, but huge all the same. The last one to fall was Moira, and in her wide eyes Charles could see that she really had thought he was going to pick her over Erik and everyone else. 

 

“ _You know right, Charles, that you have a dirty mind? But first the kids...”_

 

Charles was blushing. He really didn't have realized he was projecting his thoughts, and was really glad that Erik was so focused in taking them out of the base to watch at him and actually see the color on his cheeks. 

 

The car with the kids was parked right in front of the base. At least on that they had been sincere. The agents there were passed out too. 

 

As soon as the kids saw them, they almost ran from the car. They were so relieved that both Erik and Charles were back. What had happened had scarred them badly, and they needed the two older mutants to feel safe, to know that in the end everything was going to be OK. 

 

Erik was the first one to gain control back, he tossed the bodies of the two sleeping agents on the floor, and took the driver seat. He knew they needed to go away, they needed a place to hide, and they needed it sooner than later. 

 

The metal bender didn't lose time explaining what was going on, even if the kids were asking thousands of questions. Charles was probably the better one to explain things after all. Erik's mind was focused on protected that little and strange family that somehow he got for himself, and nothing could distract him from that. 

 

“Were can we go?”

 

Charles thought about the answer for a few seconds, he wasn't sure he was ready for that, but he knew it was the only possibility they all had. “My family house, outside New York. No one knows that I kept it, and no one is going to look for us in that place. The mansion is huge and well protected by woods. We can stay there...” 

 

Erik knew that there was more in Charles words. He knew that the younger mutant wasn't offering his house only for the present. He was offering it for good, and Erik realized that the idea wasn't frightening him as he had thought and feared. Maybe it really was time for him to begin again to call a place home. 

 

“Sounds good to me. We are going to need a place to stay when the war with Shaw will be over. I'm not going to lie to you kids, it's going to be bad, worse than you can imagine, and you all need to be trained, to be ready to protect yourselves and the others. You need to know how to actually use your power during a stressful situation, and how to attack with them. And after this, we all are going to need a place where we can feel and be safe.” 

 

The kids were silent. They knew that Erik was telling them the truth, a truth they already hated, but that was the only hope for them to survive. They knew things were bad, and they all were scared even if they tried to hide that. 

 

“Thank you Erik, for everything.” 

 

Erik smiled to his lover before they began the long drive to their knew home.

 

*** 

 

Janos had fallen asleep almost as soon as his head as touched the pillow, realizing that it was smelling perfectly like a mix between his own smell, and Azazel's. But he was woken up by a chocked scream, and the body close to his trashing around the bed. 

 

Azazel was having a nightmare and Janos' first was to reach for his lover, to try to wake him up. The younger mutant didn't even have time to think that that could have been a mistake. 

 

Azazel screamed as soon as Janos' hands reached for him. He woke up with a startle, and yet he still was lost in his mind, and for that even more lethal than usual. 

 

“Don't touch me.” 

 

Janos had only a moment to realize that Azazel didn't know where he was before Azazel's tail twisted around Janos' neck, squeezing hard. The younger mutant couldn't breathe, he only could only try to grab at Azazel's tail, and force it to lose the grip, but the tail was a weapon for the demon-like mutant, and he was a master using it. 

 

“Azazel...”

 

Calling his name wasn't having any effect, and Janos knew he didn't have much time left. 

 

“Please... my love...”

 

The Latino saw a flash of hope and pure sorrow into Azazel's ice-colored eyes, and suddenly Azazel was back. His tail still around Janos' throat, but it wasn't squeezing so hard anymore; and what broke the younger mutant's heart was that he looked defeated, and like every ounce of strength had left his body. 

“What... what did you say?” 

 

“My love...” Janos wasn't even able to finish his sentence that Azazel had left the bed and was now pacing in the room like a caged lion. Rage was consuming him, giving him back the shadow of the force he used to have. He didn't survive hell to be lied by the man he loved. The same man who had saw what he was in truth, and who couldn't possibly love him back, not now. He still remembered Janos, in his mind, telling him the same words, but he probably imagined him saying that.

 

He had done what Sebastian had demanded in order to give Janos back his freedom, and maybe was time to take back his own too. 

 

Before Janos had time to ask him what was wrong, before he had time to try to speak again, Azazel was towering over him, and everything in his body screamed coldness. He was back being the closed up man he had been when Janos first had joined the Hellfire club. 

 

“You should go Riptide. Go back to your room... and stay there.” 

 

He was gone in a cloud of smoke before Janos had time to digest what just happened. 

 

“Azazel's words had hurt more than his tail, but Janos knew what the older man was trying to do. He knew he was trying to push him away to protect himself now that he was vulnerable, but Janos also knew that he needed to show him that he wasn't alone anymore, that with him the older mutant didn't have any reason to protect himself, and he needed to do that now, before all the walls Azazel had built in the years came back cutting him out of Azazel's life probably for good. 

 

Going now looking for Azazel was going to be useless, Janos knew that, and the only thing that was keeping him from panicking was the knowledge that Azazel's honor and loyalty weren't going to allow him to leave the submarine, so Janos decided to do the only thing he could; waiting for him, and preparing to fight for his love.

 

Azazel was wondering around the submarine, grateful that no-one was around to bother him. He was trying to give Janos enough time to leave his room, or at least that was what he was telling himself, what he was doing in truth was to try to adjust to the idea that once he was going to come back to that room, he was going to be alone. Janos wasn't going to be his anymore, not even in his mind, and that was tearing Azazel apart. 

 

When he came out from the control room, where he had made sure that everything was working like, he realized that he had spent hours surrounded only by radar and machines, and that was probably going to be his life from now on. He always knew that even if Sebastian's plan was going to work, for mutants like him life wasn't going to get any easier. 

 

He felt exhausted, and he knew that this time he couldn't escape the trap that sleepy had ready for him. He couldn't escape the monster lurking in the shadow for him, but at least this time he wasn't going to accidently risk to kill Janos with his tail or his fingers or one of his swords. After all to be alone had his bright sides. 

 

Before he opened the door, Azazel tried to prepare himself for the loneliness and darkness that were going to wait for him, so he really wasn't ready for what he saw. Janos was still there, sat on the bed, reading a book like nothing had happened. 

 

Azazel was opening his mouth to ask what was going on when Janos raised his eyes and looked at him. 

 

“We need to talk.” And with that Janos silenced Azazel. 

 

*** 

 

“Do you really mean what you said in the car?”

 

Charles and Erik were finally alone, finally able to relax at least a bit, and Erik knew that Charles was trying to hide a strong headache, probably born because of the stress and worry of the day, and because of the strength that the other mutant needed to keep Janos' mind protected. All the kids were asleep, too exhausted to ask questions that still didn't have an answer. Charles was exhausted too, but he needed to be told again that the man he loved was going to stay, the he was going to be part of the dream he had for the future. 

 

“Every single word my love. Even the hard ones I told the kids. I'll be here. I'm here to stay if you really want me in your life.” 

 

Erik found his arms full of a telepath, and he too could feel the love and happiness that Charles was feeling and projecting. 

 

“It's going to be hard Charles. We could lose someone else, and when we'll have to face Herr Doctor, he'll tell you terrible things, and he'll show you and the kids sides of me that are going to disgust you...”

 

“Whatever he's going to do Erik, you are not alone anymore. You won't face him alone, and nothing he can say will push us away. The kids already look at you like a mentor. We all need you here Erik, you are a part of us, and important part of this strange family we are creating.” 

 

“The last time I had a family and a home, I lost everything because of who and what we were. I can't do that again. I can't lose you...” 

 

“And you won't. No one is going to take me from you, I will never allow it.” 

 

*** 

 

Janos scooted over on the bed, clearly indicating that he wanted Azazel to sit close for whatever they were going to talk about. 

 

Azazel was confused. He knew he should have kept his facade, trying to show that he was mad at Janos for not doing what he was told, he knew he should have called back the rage and hate he felt for himself, but he was too tired, and he couldn't find that rage anymore, so he did the only thing he could think about. He sat on the bed, close to Janos and waited for the younger man to talk. 

 

“Tell me what happened Azazel, please. I know you tried to push me away, and I think I know why, but please, tell me what happened. I need to hear that from you.” 

 

“Are you going to leave after?” Azazel wasn't even sure what he was asking; if he was begging Janos to leave before what was left of his heart shattered, or if he was begging him to stay and never leave, even if the younger man was never going to be able to love him. 

“Never. I won't never leave you, Azazel. I thought that was clear now. The only way I'll ever go is if you really want me to leave, and if that will happen it will mean that no matter how much I fought, no matter how much I tried, I wasn't able to show you how much I love you, or that simply I wasn't worth your love.” 

 

The older mutant was totally speechless, and the only thing he could do was to sit, and talk.

 

*** 

 

Charles was cuddled up in Erik's arms. The stress of the past few days, and what had happened at the CIA base was finally catching up with him, and he felt exhausted. But even in his state he still couldn't sleep. 

 

“We need to train. All of us. And I don't know if the kids are ready or not. God I don't even know if we are ready.” 

 

“They aren't Charles. No one of you is, but we all will be ready when we'll have to face Herr Doctor.” 

 

The younger man was moving restlessy. He didn't want to lose contact with Erik, and even if he was laying on him it wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough. Charles needed to take Erik inside him, to feel him under his skin, like a part of him. He needed to take Erik inside his mind so that no one else could touch him ever again. 

 

“My love, what's wrong?” Charles mentally cursed, he really didn't mean to disturb Erik. He didn't want to upset him, but in the same time he needed to know. He needed to know how Erik's power worked because that was the only way he could understand and protect Erik. To ask Erik was unfair, it was like to take things from him, things that maybe the older man wasn't still ready to share, and in truth that was all that Charles really wanted. To tell him what no-one knew about him and his power. 

 

“My power first presented when I was 9. For a very long time I thought I was crazy, and I was scared that somehow someone was going to realize that there was something very wrong with me, and take me away.” Erik tightened his arms around Charles' smaller frame and kissed his silky hair.

 

A small smile formed on Charles' lips. He could feel Erik love, and it was so warm and strong that Charles had never felt more protected in his life. 

 

“Only when I was 12 I realized that the voices I heard were in truth other minds reaching for me, talking to me. Only when I met Raven I put together the last piece of the puzzle. My power is inside my head, but is born from my heart. Is born from love. Love for this knew, beautiful specie that we are part of. Love for my sister and the family I found in her and that is growing bigger and bigger . And now, my friend, the love I feel for you.”

 

Erik's eyes, so beautiful and bright, were tearing now. No-one ever talked about him with so beautifully. No-one, after his mom's dead, had ever loved him as much as Charles loved him now, and that was scaring him to death because he knew if he lost Charles now he was going to be destroyed, and he didn't even care. 

 

Erik wished he could share with Charles something as good with Charles, he wished he had a nice story about his power, but the truth was that his power had failed him with the most important person a child can have in the world. 

 

“My power was born from rage and pain, Charles. It failed to save my mom, it was useless to save my people; it only turned me into a monster, like the man who created me. My power can't be used for nothing but kill and destroy. 

 

“Look at me, Erik.” Charles was holding his face in his hands, and the older mutant couldn't resist because Charles wasn't ordering him, or invading his mind, he was simply begging Erik, and that made the metal bender totally exposed, so he looked into Charles eyes and almost drowned in the love that was there only for him. 

 

“You are not a monster. A monster is how hurt you. A monster is who experimented on you , but not you, never you. Your power can be used for good, because you are a good man, Erik, you just don't see that into yourself. Your power is not born in rage and fear and pain, it came to you in those moments, because you needed it to hunt the persecutors of your past, but that's not its origin. Can you... would you allow me to show you, my love?”

 

Erik could only nod, because he didn't trust his voice now, and he didn't trust himself because he wasn't sure he could agree with Charles. He never had used is power for something that wasn't destructive and bloody, and he wasn't sure he knew how. 

 

*** 

 

Azazel had told Janos everything. Everything that he did for him, and for the first time, he willingly told someone about what had happened in his early life, and how only his power had saved him, the same power that had been the cause of the hell he had lived, but that presented itself only when he was sixteen, and had already been a slave for most of his life. 

 

And when he finished his story, and Janos had destroyed things in his room for at least three times, with uncalled tornado that had escaped his hands because of the rage of their master, had been Janos' time to talk and tell Azazel the truth about Russia and what had happened there. 

 

Azazel had tried, hard, to stay calm, and keep his mind blank, and covered by the power that was still inside Janos' mind, and that simple thought was enough to almost drive him crazy with worry. 

 

“What? What have you done?” Azazel couldn't believe, and Janos, his absolutely beautiful, and totally crazy Janos, was looking at him like he was amused, but he didn't try to stop the older man when he raised from the bed and paced around the room. 

 

“Are you totally crazy? Janos tell me why did you do something so dangerous? What if Frost finds it in your mind, what if Sebastian finds out? You could die, Janos, and for nothing.” But when to look at him almost gave Janos motion sickness, the younger mutant realized that enough was enough.

 

“Stop this Azazel. Stop talking and let me answer to some of your questions, at least.” 

 

Azazel felt the need to use his power and teleport in another continent and forget everything. Forget the mission, and the war, and his past, and more or less the world in general; but even if he didn't look like a devil escaped from hell, he knew that he couldn't abandon Janos, not like this, not without at least trying to fight for what could be between them. Slowly he sat on the floor, at the end of the bed. His knees pressed to his chest in a rare show of vulnerability. 

 

“I'm listening.” 

 

“In many ways, yes, I'm crazy. I went totally crazy when I found out what happened, what you accepted to do to save me. I did what I had to do, I needed to do something, and Erik looked like the best solution. He suffered in Shaw's hands, and he knows what he's capable of.” 

 

“Janos, we all saw what Erik Lenshner can do. We saw him risking his life to kill the man . He doesn't care for anything else but his mission. He's going to have you killed.”

 

“The man has changed, Azazel, you didn't see him with his lover. He has a new mission, and that mission is to keep Charles Xavier safe.” 

 

Azazel couldn't believe his ears; he had lived long enough to know that it was impossible for a man to change so fast, above all for someone like Erik. “Do you really think this, do you really think that man has changed? He had met Xavier only a few days ago, and if he really changed so much I can think only to one reason for that, and we both know how powerful Xavier is as a telepath.” 

 

While Azazel was still talking, Janos had reached his head with his long fingers. The older mutant didn't put any product after his shower, and they were now soft and silky; it was an unconscious gesture, but Janos wasn't going to stop. He had missed Azazel, and to touch him was only a way to reassure himself that his lover was really there. 

 

“He's nothing like Emma Frost. Charles Xavier has the stronger moral code that I ever seen. He didn't force Erik to love him, he would never do something like that.” 

 

Azazel moved his head, letting Janos more access to his scalp, like a cat rubbing against the hands of its owner. “And you know all of this after talking to him for a few minutes under the pressure of Emma Frost waking up and realizing you were gone?” 

 

Janos understood why Azazel couldn't trust anyone right now, but he really wished Azazel had seen for himself who Charles Xavier was, and how Erik was a changed man because of him.”

 

“No, I know it because I saw him with Erik. I saw the love between them.” 

 

“And how does that love look like?” Azazel wasn't really sure why he had asked, it wasn't like he could hope to be loved like he had discovered he wanted. 

 

“It looks like a bright cloak around them.” 

 

“Sounds nice.” The sarcasm was obvious in his voice.

 

“I prefer the way you see me.” For a long moment the silence fall in the room; Azazel had almost forgotten that Janos had been inside his mind. 

 

“But you never saw how I see you like, and I wonder... would you like to know?” 

 

No, Azazel really didn't want to. “Tell me” But of course his mind had other ideas. 

 

Janos smiled, almost shyly, and looked Azazel in the ice. “I wish I had a mental power right now, so I could show you, but I guess my words will have to do the job.”

 

Azazel raised his eyes looking at Janos, they were tired, and had lost their light, but Janos deserved his attention, even if he was probably going to be the last time.

 

“I see you like that ice that covers your land. It's hard, and cold, but it's also a protector. It's the reason why you never had lost to foreign armies; but under the ice there is still life, and the beauty of a rough diamond. I see you like this. Something hard and strong, and in the same time delicate and fragile, and I love you exactly like this.” 

 

Once again Azazel jumped. “You what?”

 

“I love you, Azazel, I always did. I fall in love with you the first time I saw you. That's why I came to your bed, even if I only was a pastime for you. I thought that maybe, with time, you could have learned to love me, and if that wasn't going to happen I still would have the memories of our time together.” 

 

Azazel was speechless. His mind was trying to elaborate everything what Janos just told him, and he was having trouble with that. 

 

“You... you think I don't love you?” He was shocked and confused. Never in his life he had loved someone, and no-one ever taught him how to show his feelings, but he had tried, and to know that Janos didn't realize hurt. 

 

“No Azazel, I always knew you loved me, and cared for me, what I didn't know was if you were or not in love with me.”

 

“And now? Do you know that now?” Janos smiled sadly. “I wouldn't be worth you love if I didn't know after what you did for me. I only wish things could have been different. I only wish you didn't have to sacrifice your soul, once again, for this love.” 

 

“There can't be love without sacrifice, Janos. I don't regret what I did. I simply couldn't let Shaw having his way with you. I know men like him, and they don't change, it doesn't matter in which Country you meet them, or when, they are all the same, they lost their souls a long time ago. They only destroy everything they touch. My only regret is that I didn't act sooner.

 

Janos had crawled from the bed onto Azazel's lap and was nuzzling his neck. He needed to touch Azazel, and his gestures were intimate but not openly sexual. Neither of them was ready for that. 

 

“There are no ways I would have let you face Sebastian Shaw. We both know we can't defeat him. And he still has a point, we still had to stay hidden, and he was our only chance. But now, now we have something to fight for, now is the right moment, and if we want, we also have somewhere to go...” 

 

Azazel had a bad feeling he knew what Janos meant, but still, he asked. “What do you mean?” 

 

“We can join Xavier and Erik.” The older mutant was lost in his thoughts. He always knew that Janos was a better judge of people than he could ever hope to be, but this obsession with the metal bender and his mate was still sounding too strange to his ears. 

 

“You want to change Masters?” And this time Janos rolled his eyes, and it was a funny gesture for someone who usually was reserved and always calm. 

 

“You have to meet them Azazel. It's clear that you won't believe me until you do.” 

 

Azazel was skeptical. Erik sounded a lot like Shaw, and he didn't trust him. He didn't want to wear another collar, not if they really could get free now.” 

 

“We are going to fight a war soon and I'm sure I'll have the occasion to see them, and watch them closely.”

 

Janos was about to answer when the shield that Charles had put on his mind tightened, telling him that someone was close. The door opened to show Emma Frost, in an hurry. 

 

“We are off to Cuba in one hour.”

 

*** 

 

“Just remember Erik, the point between rage and serenity.”

 

Charles had given his back a memory he thought he had lost. One of the last happy moment he has spent with his mom, before the camps, before he lost everything. With that memory back he had been able to call and move a huge satellite disk. Charles had been right, his power could be used without rage and pain. Maybe he wasn't wholly the monster he thought. Maybe he didn't totally belonged to Herr Doctor after all, at least not yet.

 

And now, with Charles by his side, he was being able to catch the submarine that had escaped him only a few days before. 

 

Sebastian Shaw, Herr Doctor, was so close now. Erik could feel him, even if he didn't have Charles' power. Erik could feel his presence in his bones, like a dark and malignant slime threatening to swallow him. 

Erik wanted to kill him, he wanted to end the nightmare that had wore Herr Doctor's face for too long now, but above all, he needed to keep the monster away from Charles. 

 

“Please my love, calm your mind. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere.” 

 

If the kids with them on the plane had heard them talking, they weren't saying anything, but all of them were smiling. 

 

“Erik throw the submarine onto the beach. We don't have much time, the Russians are going to cross the line of international waters soon, and we can't let this happen.”

 

Erik did what Charles had told him, but their plane too went crashing on the beach. Everything happened in a moment. Charles went flying into the body of the plane, towards the huge hole in its side. Erik didn't even have the time to think, he simply let go his handhold and reached for Charles, covering his body, and using his power to anchor them both to the metal floor. 

 

“Are you ok?”

 

Charles could feel Erik's worry, and send him waves of calm while telling him that he was fine. 

 

“I'm OK my love, but we have a problem. I can't feel Shaw. Wherever he is, there is something that is blocking me, and my power.” 

 

Charles sounded upset. It wasn't common for his power to be blocked, and it never was a feeling that the telepath liked. 

 

“I have to go.” 

 

It was true, and Charles knew that. Erik had to be sure that Shaw was going to pay for everything he did. All he could do was hoping that Erik was going to keep his promise, but he wasn't stupid. He knew that there was a possibility he could lose Erik on the submarine, but Charles had to trust the older man, and his love. It was the only way. 

 

“Please be careful.” That was everything he could tell his lover. 

 

“You too Charles. Please stay safe. I can't lose you.” 

 

*** 

 

Sebastian Shaw has disappeared in his study the moment the submarine had been taken from the water. Never before Erik's power had allowed him to do something like that, and for a moment an irrational rage raised in his mind. How was it possible that in only a few days with this Xavier the boy had been able to unlock so much power into his perfect creature, when he had failed to do so in more than their years together?

 

He wanted the telepath in his hands, with him he could regain his control over Erik. Using Erik's powers to control what would remain of the human race would be a walk in the park. 

 

Emma had been an useful and pleasurable past time, however Charles Xavier was going to be even more so. To break Charles and Erik, all over again, was going to be the cherry on top of the cake. 

 

The reactor room was shiny and beautiful, and it was humming with so much power that for a moment Sebastian felt a spike of pure pleasure. He was ready to absorb all that power, and he was going to be ready for the war, and his victory. 

 

*** 

 

In the meantime Riptide could feel Charles very close by. He realized he had no regrets, he had lost his faith in Shaw and his methods a long time ago. The idea of killing Shaw wasn't as repelling anymore, not after everything the man had done to Azazel. Following Shaw's orders he had spilled blood, staining his hands numerous times that it almost felt poetic and fitting Shaw's blood would soon wash his hands clean. (Is this rewrite ok?)

 

Emma's scream made his heart skip a beat, he turned he saw the woman on the ground,clinching her head trying to reach inside her brain and pull her mind free. She was trying to shield herself behind her diamond armor, but something, or someone very strong, was keeping her from doing so. She continued screaming and trashing, but nothing would cease her sufferiing. 

 

Azazel teleported from the control room as soon as the first scream was uttered. 

 

“This is..." looking at the woman, he felt every ounce the monster that his family had hated so much, but he didn't care. He wanted to say something more, but he was disrupted when the side of the submarine tore opened like it was made of clay (what about paper?), revealing Erik Lehnsherr in all his furious splendor. 

 

After seeing him, Emma Frost tried one last time to shield herself, but the pain of someone invading her mind, both exhausted and defeated her. She lost consciousness, finally embracing the darkness surrounding her. 

 

“Where is Shaw?” Erik looked possessed. Every ounce of metal in the whole submarine was vibrating, answering Erik's silent call. 

 

“ _My love, please...”_

 

Charles' voice sounded scared and broken in Erik's mind, and for one never-ending moment, the older mutant feared that somehow Herr Doctor had been able to reach him, but soon Erik was able to understand the real reason behind Charles' words. His lover was begging him not to lose himself. He didn't want to lose himself, and Charles now that he had finally found him, but he didn't know if he was strong enough to resist. 

 

“ _Calm your mind my friend. You are not alone. Never you'll be alone again.”_

 

“In his office.” 

 

Erik looked at Azazel, his thick accent even more noticeable than usual. It was clear that the other mutant didn't trust him, and Erik was OK with that because he still didn't trust him and Riptide neither, but not even he could deny that there was something strong and fierce between the Teleporter and the Master of winds. Something for which both of them were ready to fight and kill for. 

 

“Charles can't reach for him.” It was so strange to talk about his lover with two men who had been enemies only a few days before. “Is there something, in his office, that could stop a telepath?” 

 

Azazel looked deep in thoughts, and the silence between them become almost unbereable.

 

“Nothing in the office, but this is a nuclear submarine. The reactor is in the room behind the walls of the office, and is shielded enough that the radiations won't kill us.” 

 

That made sense in Erik's mind, but also worried him. He knew what power Herr Doctor had, and suddenly, he remembered what he had said one of those days, years ago, after hours and hours of torture. Herr Doctor had called their generation the children of the atom, and just like that Shaw's plan revealed itself in Erik's mind. 

 

“ _Charles, you have to leave the island now. Take the kids and go.”_

 

“ _Erik?”_

 

“ _Shaw doesn't need the Russians and the Americans. That's just for his personal amusement, but he doesn't need them to start the war because he's turning himself into a nuclear bomb. Nothing on this island but himself is going to survive.”_

 

“ _We have to stop him Erik, before it's too late.”_

 

Erik knew that Charles wouldn't leave without him. He refused to leave Erik alone to face his nghtmares, he needed to hurry up and stop Shaw's plan; once and for all. Erik brought his attention back to the two other men in the room. 

 

“Can you teleport us there?”

 

Azazel looked between his lover and Erik for a few moments, making a decision. He knew the man was talking to his telepath. He had seen Frost invade enough minds to recognize it, but this time it was different. Azazel didn't know if it was because Erik had been willingly to let Xavier into his mind, or because they were obviously in love; but he decided to trust them, to give them a chance, at least for now. 

 

“First we have to stop the reactor. He's going to know we betrayed him.” 

 

*** 

 

“Are you OK Charles?”

 

Charles was sat in the seat close to Hank, breathing hard and trying to fight the nausea and the excruciating pain in his head. He knew that the kids were worried, he could hear them, but was trying to shield his mind because right now everything was causing him torment. To stop Emma Frost had been harder than he had thought. Erik was right, they all needed to train a lot more than they had. He was honest enough with himself to admit the only reason he had been able to defeated her was due to Janos telling him attacking unexpectly would leave her vulnerable. Her weakness, she had never trained to overcome it, probably because she always had been too sure that she was the strongest telepath to date. 

 

What was even harder, was Charles knowing well that his state wasn't only due to the exhaustion from their first fight as a team, but also because of how worried he was for Erik. For whatever reason Shaw wasn't reachable right now, and Charles was scared of the knowledge that if Erik followed him, he was going to break his promise to the man he loved. Erik had also disappeared from his mind, he would be alone with Shaw. He could feel the minds of the soldiers, Americans and Russians, and he knew they had the order to destroy them as soon as the Shaw's menace was solved. 

 

Raven was almost panicking now. The last time she had seen Charles so exhausted they were still children, and it had been the first time that Charles had tried to shield his mind from everyone else.

 

“I'm OK Raven.” 

 

“They are going to attack right? It doesn't matter what we do, it doesn't matter if we defeat Shaw. They are going to attack because we are not like them and we are expendable.” Everyone on the plan was nervous now. They were scared, and hurt, and Charles needed to do something for them too. He could worry abut his own pain later. 

 

“They have orders, yes. But I won't let anyone of you be hurt.”

 

“And how do you expect to stop them? Erik is right, his rage and hate are right.”

 

Charles slowly got up, facing Raven. The pain and exhaustion forgotten and his beautiful eyes now colder than ice. 

 

“Don't you dare to think you know what you are talking about Raven. You don't know what Erik has survived, you have no idea where his hate and rage where born, and from what. You should be grateful for that. Erik's war against Shaw is now my war too only because he allowed me to see and be by his side, but you don't get to use Erik to hide. There are humans who will always hate us, and will do everything in their power to destroy us; but there are also humans who will understand us, accept us, and those humans we have the duty to respect and protect. Exactly like there are mutants who will always try to start a new war to gain power, and mutants who will always look for peace. The world is not black and white, Raven, and it's time for you to finally understood that. It's time for you to understand who you want to be in life.”

 

Raven's yellow eyes were looking at Charles like it was the first time they saw the man who was more than a brother for her. It was the first time that Charles had been so harsh with her, and she felt rage raising in her. The same rage that she had tried to suppress for a long time now. Charles was still seeing a child in her, but she was a woman, and a proud mutant, and it was time for him to understand that. 

 

“And when those humans on the ships will follow their orders, when no-one of them will say a word against what those orders are, what are you going to do Charles? If the only way to survive is to destroy them, what are you going to do?”

 

“Everything I'll have to do to protect us, and if you really don't know this or you doubt it, you don't know me, at all.” 

 

“You are an idealist Charles, a pacifist.”

 

“Being one doesn't mean that I won't fight to protect my family. It only means that I know what we all are going to lose if a war start between mutants and humans.”

 

Angel chose that moment to try to take them by surprise, and before Charles knew it, Raven had stormed out of the plane to chase her, and the telepath was left with the sour feeling he had lost his little sister and wouldn't go back until she found herself. 

 

*** 

 

Sebastian was almost ready, he could feel the energy filling his body and melting with every cell. Every single atom was making him stronger with every passing moment. His DNA was changing, and with that his mutation was growing. Sebastian Shaw finally felt like the God he always thought he was. Soon he was going to be the most powerful, sentient, form of energy in the world, and no-one could stop him. Humans had reached the height of their evolution, and it was time they moved over for the new race; a race that Shaw would control. 

 

Suddenly the two bars of uranium slipped from his grip, but it didn't matter because he already had enough energy to start a thousand wars. His creature, his Erik, was coming from him and it was time to teach the boy, all over again, where his place was in the world. 

 

When the wall began to slip, Sebastian could see Erik's long legs, covered in leather, but as the opening grew wider his smile began to falter, behind him stood Azazel and Riptide. It was obvious that Erik was not their prisoner. Shaw was still wearing his helmet, so he couldn't call Emma and demand to know what the hell was going on. 

 

“Herr Doctor.” 

 

The wall slipped again, and Erik lost his connection with Charles. He was shocked once he realized that even if unobtrusive and discreet, the loss of it was almost unbearable. 

 

“Erik, son, you chose the right moment to come back to me.”

 

The blast of energy threw Erik against the wall. “But you came back with the intent to destroy me, and for that you have to be punished.” The wall began to break like some of Erik's ribs, but he couldn't think about the pain, because his mind remembered all too well Herr Doctor's punishments, he swore he would have never been a victim again. 

 

In the meantime Azazel and Riptide evaded the same fate only because Azazel teleported them in the air. “He's even stronger now.” Azazel didn't like the situation. The soldier in him knew they were in a strong disadvantage, but he also knew that whatever was going to happen, it had to be now. 

 

Erik could taste the blood in his mouth, a taste he was familiar with and that was giving him more and more reason to keep fighting, because he had survived the monster once already, but gentle and kind Charles, the boy who loved history and Shakespeare and genetics, wasn't born to endure anything that Herr Doctor could do to him if Erik didn't stop him first. 

 

His body had been thrown again, and Shaw was still talking, remembering the ways he forged Erik , but Erik wasn't listening, he already knew the story, and because the last blow had finally broken the shields on the wall, and even if he was still bleeding and he was still trapped, he could hear Charles again. 

 

While Herr Doctor was distracted, still talking, Erik used a wire to take off the helmet, and as soon the metallic thing fall on the ground the time froze. Charles was using his power, and it was beautiful and frightening in the same time. Sebastian Shaw was totally exposed and vulnerable. 

 

It would be so easy now. Erik could read in Shaw's eyes that he knew, he was going to die, and no-one was going to save him. The coin, the same one that he never parted which since the day his mother died, was vibrating in his pocket, ready to strike. Erik had always known that if he ever had the chance, he would have used the coin to kill Herr Doctor, just to show him how well he had learned, pushing it slowly into his brain, from side to side. 

 

The coin gently floated in front of Shaw, right between his eyes; it touched his skin, just a few more moments and his mother was going to be avenged, a few more moments now, and the lives of his people were going to be avenged. The coin moved again, scratching the skin, and a drop of blood stained the otherwise fairy complexion, an suddenly Erik stopped. Everyone he had known and loved in his past had died, but Charles was alive, he was still with Erik and he was inside Shaw's mind, to give them all the time to defeat the monster. 

 

Charles knew what was happening, and not even once had tried to stop him, not even once he had tried to control his mind. He was ready to let Erik take his revenge if that was really what Erik wanted, even if that meant to take a coin throw his brain, an live the slow, excruciating agony that Erik always intended to inflict on Herr Doctor. 

 

The coin dropped on the ground, and Erik used the metal in the room to throw Shaw's body as far away from his as possible, like the poisonous snake he was. 

 

“ _Let him go Charles.”_

 

Shaw had only the time to realize he was free, and alive, before he saw Riptide in front of him. Riptide who wasn't calling a tornado, because he knew that Sebastian was simply going to absorbe his power, but who was holding one of Azazel's sword. The blade sunk in his heart with a quick, smooth motion, and the man had only the time to look at it in confusion before the blood began to flood from his mouth. 

 

“Goodbye Mr. Shaw.” 

 

For all his power and cruelty, Sebastian Shaw fall on the ground like a ragged doll. 

 

*** 

 

Charles was waiting for Erik on the beach. For a moment he had thought that Erik's sorrow was going to control him, that the pain of his past had been too big, and that his lover was going to kill Shaw. He had braked himself because he knew how Erik always wanted to kill his jailor, but instead that excruciating pain, he had felt immeasurable love. 

 

Erik came out from the plane first, walking like the leader he was, conscious of his power, and finally free from a burden that he had carried alone for too long. Behind him Riptide and Azazel looked lost. Two men too used to fight and follow orders who, after they accomplished a mission, realized they didn't know what to do now. 

 

Charles locked his eyes in Erik's, but the man didn't stop. He kept walking until he was only a few inches from the telepath, and took Charles in his arms, kissing him like Charles was everything in the world and Erik just a lost soul without him. 

 

Charles was happy and laughed into the kiss, because for the first time he felt Erik's happiness, for the first time he knew the man he loved was free, and warm, and everything that Charles always thought he could have been without a monster in his past, but like everything in life, even that perfect moment ended too soon, when Alex cleared his throat and called for their attention. 

 

“Not to be noisy, but there are still two fleets ready to nuke us... any idea about what to do to stop them?” 

 

Both Charles and Erik growled, but all too soon Erik let Charles go, and his gaze was so intense that Charles was sure right now Erik was reading him like an open book and so easily that not even his power could have done better. 

 

“There will always be someone who'll try to attack and destroy us, or use us as lab rats, and when that will happen, not if, but when, I'll have to fight, Charles. I'll have to do everything I deem necessary to keep our race, our family, safe. Can you accept that? Can you accept that for me, peace was never an option? That I'll have to train the kids, and teach them how to defend themselves?” 

 

Charles had feared that Erik was going to leave them all, instead if he understood his words, Erik wanted to stay. They were going to need rules, and learn to compromise, but Charles didn't care, he was going to do everything in his power to keep Erik by his side. He wasn't an too naïve he knew that they were going to deal with their differences and that there were going to be fights and misunderstandings, but they also had their love, and that was strong enough, he was sure. 

 

“As long as you don't start a war, and don't do anything stupid enough to endanger your life or the lives of the kids, you can do whatever you feel the need to do to protect us, my love.”

 

“Then, lets go away, Charles. The humans can decide their destiny. For now this is not our war.” 

 

They disappeared from the beach the moment the missiles were shot. Erik was right, for now that wasn't their war. The tension between USA and URRS was going to give them time to recover and organize, and if in the future a menace was going to threaten the mutants, Professor X and Magneto were going to be ready, but for now they had a school to open. 

 

EPILOGUE

 

Azazel and Riptide had fit with Charles and Erik's family strangely well. They kept for themselves for the most part. Azazel had been, since the beginning, Erik's choice for planning the defenses and create strategy to face any possible scenario and keep the kids as safe as possible. He wasn't officially a teacher, but more than once some of the kids had come to him with questions about Russia, once they had overcome the fear that his cold eyes usually raised. Janos instead had been a God send when the first Latino students began to arrive, and Charles realized that not everyone in the US spoke English. 

 

They had used the peace and time that the school and Charles Xavier had offered to heal and connect like they never had dared. The fear of rejection, the trust issues, and the ghost of what Sebastian Shaw had done to them were now only nightmares of the past. They weren't afraid of their feelings anymore. 

 

It was winter again; Christmas was close and everyone at the mansion was excited, above all Charles and Erik. They were lost behind the preparations of their journey. They were going to Dusseldorf, the place were he had been an happy child before the horrors of the war. It was going to be hard, for both of them, but it was something they needed to do, and it was time. During the holidays Raven was going to be in charge, and that was a very scary thought. Erik had thought to ask Azazel, but Charles had opposed the idea since the beginning. It looked like Azazel was going to be very busy too, but Charles didn't tell Erik why, and Raven needed a chance to prove herself.

 

*** 

 

Riptide reached the room he shared with Azazel still wearing his coat; nose and cheeks red from the wind. Azazel's sharp eyes could see that his younger lover was shivering even if the room was hot enough that he was wearing only a t-shirt and was wondering how crazy would be to teleport himself in a bank of snow to cool down. But for now Azazel was more interested in making sure that Janos was going to be OK. 

 

“Come my love.” Janos happily accepted the invitation and sat on Azazel's lap, making an happy noise when he saw the still steaming mug of hot chocolate that his lover had prepared when Charles told him that Janos was almost home. 

 

“You still can't stand the cold... even after all this time.” Azazel's voice was fond, and gentle, a tone that he used only for Janos, and sometimes, when he was sure no-one could see him, for the younger students. 

 

Janos shrudded his shoulders, and adjusted in Azazel's arms, like a big cat. 

 

“I just don't like it. It doesn't matter how many winters I spent in cold countries, or how many months we spent in Antartica, I simply don't like it.” 

 

Azazel kissed Janos' lips. “Then I hope you are going to like my Christmas present.” Before Janos could ask, he felt the familiar sensation of his body being teleported, and when he opened his eyes again it was to see a beautiful beach, and a villa dominating it. Now he felt riddiculous wearing his winter coath. 

 

“What... what's this place?”

 

“Just a present. It's ours for the next ten days, and is totally secluded. You can tan totally naked, and I'll be the only one to know.” 

 

“Take me inside.” In Janos' voice was present all the excitement and joy that the younger mutant was feeling. It was the first time that someone did something like that for him. It was the first time that he had the possibility to spend a whole holiday with the man he loved.

 

*** 

 

Janos spent the whole afternoon sunbathing, his winters\ clothes forgotten on the floor of their room. Azazel was right, the island was so secluded that even the red-skinned mutant had spent his time swimming, and molesting Janos with his tail. He had been relaxed and carefree, and that was probably what Janos had enjoyed the most. 

 

Now, with the sun slowly sinking in the Ocean, and the light wind smelling like salt and warmth, they were sharing a fish supper that reminded Janos of the dishes he had consumed during important festivity in his home country. 

 

The atmosphere should have been perfectly relaxed and light, but Janos could feel that Azazel was nervous even if he was trying to hide it, or at least control it, and that was never a good thing. The colors of the sky were beautiful, and bright. Colors that was hard to see in big cities, but Janos couldn't enjoy it as he would have loved. His eyes kept running to Azazel every few moments, because there was something wrong, and the last time that something had been wrong he had almost lost Azazel. 

 

Janos tried to remember if something had happened. He went back a few days to try to understand what could have possibly upset Azazel, but he came up with nothing. And then he panicked because if nothing had happened there was one last possibility to explain Azazel's strange behavior. He broke the silence before doubts had the time to break his mind. 

 

“What's wrong?” His voice had been unsure, and Janos hated that. He always hated to sound scared. 

 

The demon-like mutant cursed in his mother language; he never intended to make Janos nervous, but evidently Charles had been right when he say that when you are close to someone,you don't need to be an empath to feel his distress. 

 

If he didn't answer now, and with the truth, Azazel knew he was going to bury that moment, and what he wanted to ask to his lover, so deeply that not even Charles could ever find it again. 

 

“I need to ask you something, Janos, something that I won't be able to tell you twice, and not because I'm not sure of this, but because of who I am, and how I work. I'm totally sure I want this, but I simply don't like to repeat myself.”

 

Janos was confused. It didn't sound like Azazel was going to break up with him, and yes, for a moment he had been worried that Azazel had taken him to that paradise to golden the pill, even if he knew that that wasn't his lover's style. And now that he could discard that fear, he only could wait and let Azazel telling him what was going on. 

 

The older man took a couple of breathes and finally spoke again. “Would you... would you make love to me?” His voice never sounded lower, or more innocent than while he was asking that question. 

 

Janos didn't understand. After the terrible ordeal with Shaw both of them had needed time to heal physically and psychologically, but they had been together many times since that nightmare had ended. Janos could still feel the love bites and the finger prints that Azazel had left on him only the night before, and suddenly he realized what Azazel was really asking him. 

 

Thousands of words rushed in Janos' mind, but looking into Azazel's eyes he realized that nothing he could think was enough to thank his lover for the gift that Azazel was offering him. The trust and utter love that Azazel was showing him was worth everything to Janos. Everything that happened, and everything that they survived together had lead them to that point, and the younger mutant found his throat tight and his eyes watering. 

 

Janos raised from his chair-long with unthinkable grace and extended his hand to Azazel. The contrast of their skin was still amazing, even after all the years they spent together. The fierce red melted perfectly with the golden brown creating beautiful shades that even Nature could be jealous of. 

 

The sand under their feet creaked gently while the two lovers slowly walked to their villa. They weren't rushing, because there were no reasons, they had time, and Janos wanted to enjoy it. He had thought he was going to be nervous or apprehensive, but he realized instead he was calm and at ease with Azazel by his side. 

 

What was going to happen was natural, and neither nerves or fear belonged with them now. Silently they walked the stairs to their room, hand in hand, and only when the door was locked behind their backs they parted. 

 

Janos took Azazel's face in his hands, his skin was smooth, and the well cared goatee was strangely amazing when Janos' fingers brushed it. With his lips Janos mapped Azazel's face with butterfly kisses, learning all over again every inch of him. 

 

When Janos reached his lover's lips, he claimed them with passion, and love, them, making them shiny and wet with saliva, and swallowed because his teeth bit those lips, and he sucked them into his mouth, and Azazel never looked more beautiful that that. 

 

Gently Janos pushed Azazel towards the bed and the older mutant let him move his body as he pleased, trusting Janos like he never trusted anyone else in his life. 

 

“Tell me what you want, tell me what you like.” It sounded like a strange request, but Azazel understood perfectly what Janos really wanted. He needed to be sure that Azazel was Ok with what was happening, and for the first time he wanted to be sure that he could make Azazel happy as the older man always made him feel. 

 

“Just... just you, Janos.” That was the simple truth. Azazel didn't think about what he wanted to happen, he just was happy leaving Janos in charge. Another kiss stole the breath from his lungs, and suddenly Azazel was very very glad that the weather on the island allowed them to wear very little. 

 

Soon their bodies were naked, thanks to Janos' fingers and Azazel's claws; their legs entertwined, their hands running all over each-other body, their hard cocks pressed together between their bodies, and still it wasn't enough, still they needed more of the other. More closeness, more flesh, more intoxicating heat and love and lust. 

 

“If... if you don't do something now... this is going to end too soon, my love.” And that was true not only for Azazel, but for Janos too. Janos untangled their bodies, and as soon as he was sat with his back on the headboard he missed Azazel like he would have missed a part of his body. He pulled the older mutant to him, and even if his lover was confused, Azazel went to him without any hesitation. 

 

Janos directed him with decision, and soon Azazel found himself sat on Janos' lap, with his chest pressed against Janos and their lips sealed in a kiss that was broken only when the younger mutant put his fingers on Azazel's lips.

 

Azazel didn't need words to know what to do, his warm tongue slipped between and all over the presented fingers, coating them with saliva, and this time Janos couldn't restrain a moan while he tried to keep control over himself. Janos caressed Azazel's side, lightly scratching his ribs and palming his butt cheek so possessively that for a moment he surprised himself, but Azazel's moans and the blissed expression on his usually composed face told him that his neediness was appreciated. 

 

His long fingers gently probbed the ring of muscles, pushing, but without entering Azazel, he wanted to give his lover time to adjust or to tell him to stop. He had felt Azazel freeze, his body went rigid as soon as his fingers had brushed his enter. 

 

“Are you OK?” Janos was distracting him, kissing his neck, and lightly biting every inch of skin he could reach. His lapping Azazel's neck and the vein along it made Azazel totally relaxed and he even purred even if Janos was sure his lover was going to deny it until the day he died. 

 

“I love you.” And that was everything Janos needed to keep going. He slowly pushed the first finger inside his body, and Azazel didn't tense this time, he accepted Janos' touch with a trust that took Janos' breath away. 

With care the younger man added a second fingers and this time bit hard Azazel's neck, because the heat of his body was intoxicating and he could only imagine how was going to feel to make love to him. 

 

“Please...Janos, stop teasing.” Azazel's accent was thick, and his voice low and deep, he was on edge, and Janos knew that he couldn't resist longer. 

When Janos moved his fingers, deep, and scissoring them to prepare Azazel as best as he could, the older one took example form his lover's actions, and marked Janos' neck with his teeth, biting and sucking, everything to be closer. 

 

Their bodies moved together. Janos let his lover to raise and only helped him holding the base of his rock-hard cock, and when Azazel sat on him, both of them were almost overpowered by the sensation of being so close, of being one. 

 

They made love slowly. Azazel was in charge, Janos a mere tool for his pleasure and in the same time the young Latino was Azazel's whole world. They took their time, pushing each-other almost on their limits, and retreating at the last moment, to keep going and going, because that night was theirs and theirs alone, and there was no rush. 

 

They came together. Janos deep inside Azazel, and Azazel on Janos' chest, and they knew they probably should have cleaned before to sleep, but their smells, the smell of sex and the cum marking their bodies inside and out were what both of them needed. 

 

They had survived hell, in every form, for that moment, and now at the end of their journey, fast asleep in each other arms, they knew they had overcome the nightmare to find their own, personal, heaven. 

 

END


End file.
